Poems 2011(:

Someone like You

Darkness. Darkness is everywhere. I can't escape it, it won't let me free. It's drowning me, killing me. What should I do? Where should I go?

Can I run to you? Will you hold me in your arms? Will you let me know that it's going to be okay?

Will it be okay?

I don't know. I wish I knew. This darkness won't go away, the storm cloud won't lift.

You've dug me deeper. Deeper and deeper into this cold earth. Deeper and deeper into hell. With no way out. No light.

No hopes that you'd appear. No way to swim out. No land to climb upon.

Where are you?! I can't find you. Swimming. Searching for you. Searching for a way out. Searching for a sliver of hope.

Hope that's long ago left. Gone. Hope I can't replace. Hope for you. Why do I hope for you?! You only hut me!

Why do I crave to be in your arms again? To be in your presence? I don't want you. I don't need you.

All you do is hurt me. Leave me. Walk away. Drop me here.

But why? Why'd you do it? I was nothing but to you! Even when you cheated on me. Even when you hit me. I was perfect and you blamed it on me.

You walked away. Drug me here. Drowned me.

But why?! What did I do wrong?! It must have been pretty bad. Strange thing is I don't know what i did.

Why?! That question has been forever burned into my soul.

Why?

That question swims around me. Faster and faster.

Its touch burns me. Pain. Sweet, hot pain. Sweet hot pain that I've been waiting a lifetime for. Pain.

Pain that lets everything out. Out into the darkness where it belongs.

But the memories...the memories will stay with me forever.

The memories are forever burned into my heart. My soul. My body. My mind.

My heart that is now broken to pieces. My heart that is now stone cold. Stone cold and shattered.

What do I do? Where do I go?

Is there anywhere to go? I keep swimming. Hoping to find a way out. Hoping to find some light.

Or a path. A path to get me started again.

Someone to love me. Someone to hold me tight again. Someone to be here for me.

Someone to comfort me. Someone to be here for me.

Someone to comfort me. Someone to hold my hand. Someone to wipe my tears away.

Someone like you.

I need you. I miss you.

I've never been hurt by you. You've never left me like he did. You never hurt me like he did. You've never broken my heart.

You've never played games.

Will you leave? Will you say goodbye? Will you drag me here again?

I don't know if I'll be able to live.

Stay. I'm healing. You're healing me, loving me.

The memories are never going to go away, but at least I have you.

I know I have you and I know I'll always have you.

You’re mine. I love you.

Never say goodbye.

~5/17/11~