Remember Cedric Diggory

"Remember Me"

It had been a week since Cedric died, and as much as I wanted to say that I was okay I knew I wasn't. I used to think that the worst feeling in the world was losing someone you love, and it still was one of the worsts feelings, but I realized now that the worst feeling in the word was that moment when you realized that you had lost yourself. And I really did lose myself. I didn't like the things I used to like, and I didn't feel the same anymore. I guess that when he died he took a part of me, and that's why I was never going to be the same.

People came to see me throughout the week, and they kept asking me the same: if I was okay. But I realized they didn't want an answer. They were just being polite, and I knew they were hoping that I said I was okay so they didn't have to deal with me. Some of them kept telling me how awesome and loyal he was, like if I didn't know. Some told me funny stories about the past, and some told me that the pain I was feeling was eventually going to fade away.

But I knew that no matter what anybody said about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth was, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.

All those thoughts were going through my mind when someone opened the curtain of my room and I felt the sun burning against my skin. I opened my eyes and I saw Ginny and Hermione sitting on my bed, wearing the uniform.

"It's time." Said Hermione, taking my hand.

"I am not ready to say goodbye to him... not yet." I said, closing my eyes and trying not to cry.

"You'll never be ready, Clary. None of us will. But we need to say goodbye now, because after all, funerals are for the living, not for the dead." Said Ginny, giving me a sad smile.

"And I know you don't want to go but if you don't go now you'll regret it later Clary. And it will be worse." Added Hermione.

I took a deep breath and I smiled because I knew they were right.

"Okay... I will go. I know he would want me there. "I said, sitting on the bed.

"You want us to wait for you?" Asked Hermione. "Maybe we can help you with the uniform.".

"No, it's okay. I need to be alone for a moment. And I won't be needing the uniform anyway." I said.

"Why not?" Asked Ginny, curious.

"I'll be wearing his shirt... you know, the one he was using when he died. His father gave it to me and asked me if I could wear it today..."I whispered.

Hermione smiled. "That's really nice. Cedric would have liked that." She said.

I smiled and I hugged them.

"You have been so strong Clary. Especially today. I am not saying you weren't strong when he died, but I was really worried about you. You know, some of us think holding on is what makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. And that's what you are doing right now." Hermione whispered.

I hugged her tightly. "Thank you. I'll see you in a few minutes, okay?" I said, going to the bathroom.

"Okay. We will all be there. You are not alone in this." Said Ginny.

I nodded and I closed the door of the bathroom. I sighed and I sat on the floor, resting my head on the door. I closed my eyes for a second and I tried not to cry. It was the first time I was going to leave the bedroom in a week. I barely left my bed, and when I left it was so I could take a shower, which I did many times a day. I guess I liked sitting on the bath tub, and the silence of water when it fell. I didn't know if I was strong enough to leave the room. But I knew I had to, because he would have wanted me in his funeral. I sighed once more and I stood up, looking at myself in the mirror. I noticed I was pale and skinny because I hadn't eaten well since he died. I looked rather sad, and my eyes were a little red and swollen for all those times I had cried.