My Reason [NamJin]

Ch.7

I cried desperately into my knees. Begging that the images would stop and to leave me alone, of course they didn't. They liked to taunt me, to make me cry more and laugh at my fear. I peeked up from behind my knees. The dark figures were still coming at me, making me flinch and cry harder. I hid my face back into my knees. 

I begged for everything to stop. I was too scared to move or even open my eyes. The dark figures with bright evil eyes. Launching at me, disappearing at the last second and laughing more as I cried harder. Other things that were apart of my fears attacked me as well. I cried harder and tried to fling away the fake spiders that were crawling up my body. The dispersed along with the dark figures. I whimpered softly and looked around the bathroom.

"Jin?" A soft velvet like voice called out to me. I flinched back and looked around the bathroom more. I saw Namjoon walking inside. I cowarded more and hugged my knees closer. He looked over at me and frowned lightly. 

"G-Go away" I stuttered and hid behind my knees again. I didn't wanna see what he was going to do to me now. 

"I'm not going to hurt you Jin...do you need help?" He asked softly. I shook my head quickly and cried more into my knees. 

Just go away, I don't wanna be hurt anymore. 

I peeked up from behind my knees, Namjoon was walking up to me slowly. I buried myself closer to the wall. Namjoon knelt down in front of me. He took my hand gently and pulled me closer. I moved slowly and cautiously, not sure if this was all real or not. I stopped hugging my knees and shifted into a kneeling position as well. 

"I won't hurt you Jin" He repeated. His voice somehow soothed me and calmed me. I threw myself into his arms and hugged him close. He hugged me back immediately. I cried into his neck, he rubbed my back and whispered soothing things to me. I held him close for what seemed like forever. He held me close, not asking about what just happened. 

My episodes are getting more vivid and frightening. The things feel much more real, I can actually feel them touching me and clawing at me. Normally I couldn't, its like my nightmares were now coming alive. They wanted to see me writhe around in pain and fear. It amused them to see me in pain and crying for it all to just and to disappear. 

The thing that scared me most was that I didn't know if Namjoon was real. He seemed real and non-threatening, but part of me was saying to stay away from him. I didn't know what it was, I was just attracted to him. 

I pulled back and looked at him. He smiled sadly at me, I smiled wryly back. He used his thumb to clean a a tear off of my cheek. I blushed lightly and looked into his eyes. I loved his eyes, they were such a pretty brown. The kind of brown that looks gold at a right angle. I could stare into his eyes forever. 

"How are you feeling now?" He asked, snapping me from my trance and making me blush in embarrassment. I shook my head and pulled away from him, sitting back onto the tile floor. He sat in front of me and looked at me. 

"I guess I'm better, for now anyway" I said the last part quietly. He nodded and grabbed my hand gently. Sparks ran up my arm and spread over my body, making my pulse go out of control. He ran his thumb across the back of my hand. I gulped quietly and looked up at Namjoon. He smiled warmly at me, I felt my heart skip a beat when I saw his dimples expose themselves from his cheek. I smiled back. 

He helped me up and walked me out of the bathroom quietly. He didn't say one word about what happened in the bathroom. It's like he didn't really care, which I was grateful for. I didn't need anymore teasing. I was grateful for him, even if he wasn't real.