My Reason [NamJin]

Ch.13

2 weeks later~

My episodes have been gone for awhile. Which I am very thankful for. Being able to walk and talk to Namjoon without flipping is great. Right now it's spring break and Namjoon is taking me to the beach. I was packing as I waited for Namjoon to head over. I was happy to get away for a week. Especially since I'm not having episodes anymore I can actually have fun for once in my life. 

I sighed as I zipped up my suitcase and set it down onto the ground. I grabbed a small side bag and went to the bathroom to pack my toiletries. I hummed softly as I did so. Why am I so happy? I shake my head as I headed back to my room. I put that bag with my suitcase and waited for Namjoon to come get me. 

I sprinted downstairs when I heard the knock on the front door. I swung the front door open and grinned when I saw Namjoon. He smiled and removed his sunglasses. 

"Hey Jin" He said with a large smile. I jumped into his arms and hugged him close to me. He chuckled and hugged me close. I hid my face in his neck and took a deep breath of his scent. I sighed in relief as I already felt myself beginning to become calm. I pulled away and smiled more at Namjoon. He grinned brightly, making his dimples expose. I hesitantly poked them gently. He chuckled and just grinned brighter. 

"I need to get my stuff" I said before going upstairs, Namjoon following me. I slipped on my coat before grabbing my side bag. He grabbed my suitcase and we headed down to his car. I climbed inside as he put my stuff in the trunk. I looked back and waited for him to climb into the car. He climbed in after a few and started the car. He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers before starting to drive. 

***

Namjoon made a beeline for the beach once it was insight and close enough. He didn't even strip, he dove in. Clothes and all. I laughed at him and removed my sunglasses. I watched him as he played in the water. I looked out at the water, large waves turning into small ones as they crashed against the shore. Sea foam bubbling up and fizzing away as the water was pulled back into the sea. I smiled more and sat down on a towel on the sand. 

I looked up at the sky as seagulls squaked and flew by. People walked down the side walk as they laughed and enjoyed their days. I smiled softly to myself and looked over at the pier. Few people were walking across it. I frowned as I saw a man standing at the edge. I stood up and walked closer to get a better view. I froze in fear when I saw his face, it was me. I was in all white clothing, clutching a flower to my chest; single tear rolling down my cheek. I watched in fear as my body fell into the water. 

I looked around quickly. Imaged of a lake appeared in my head. Fog rolled across the surface, a pier stretching out to the middle of the water, it was surrounded trees and bushes. I cried as the images came faster. Voices began to fill my ears. I made my way back to Namjoon. I clung to him and cried into his chest, not caring if he was soaked. I cried into his chest, begging him to make the voices stop. 

Namjoon cooed to me and tried to calm me down. Eventually the voices died down and all I could ear was Namjoon and the ocean crashing against the shore. I sniffled as I cleaned away my tears and looked up at Namjoon. 

"Jin. Please tell me what's going on. I don't understand why this keeps happening to you. You're fine for a few then something sets you off and you start crying and blubbering about things trying to hurt you" He said softly, cupping my cheeks. I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes. I cleaned away one last tear before looking at him. 

"I have schizophrenia" 

***

I don't want to offend anyone. I don't know what having schizophrenia is like so I don't know how to describe it when Jin has an episode. I just describe what I think it is like when he has one. I don't want to offend anyone in anyway and if you do have it, I am truly hope that I didn't upset you.