My Reason [NamJin]

Ch. 18

I held my eyes closed as I fell into the water, my limbs immediately getting cold from the water. Small bubbles of air leaked out of my nose and headed to the surface. I clutched the lily tighter, holding onto the last memory I would have. I began to think of every moment I had with Namjoon, from our first meeting, to our last. 

I closed my eyes even tighter as my lungs began to ache for air, wanting to feel the refreshing feel of being able to breathe. I didn't want that, I wanted to dream of Namjoon. I wanted to dream of us, and to be free from life. 

My lungs began to burn from the lack of air that I was depriving them. My mind now getting fuzzy and numb, making my limbs go numb as well. I still clutched onto the lily for dear life. 

Please...let the darkness consume me. I slowly let out the rest of the breath in my lungs, feeling it ache even more when air wasn't allowed in. 

They craved to feel the delicious air fill them, and the relieving ache when the air is released. I felt my mind beginning to get fuzzy and numb from the lack of oxygen. I sunk deeper into the water, happy and content when everything got darker and darker. My mouth slipped open and my lungs began to fill with water as I sucked in a large gulp. 

My throat and chest immediately going numb from the freezing water. I coughed and spluttered as my lungs tried to reject the water and make it leave. I began to heave, making more water enter my lungs and deprive me of more air. My vision began to black out around the corners, only leaving a small hole to see out of. 

I fell limp, feeling extremely tired and heavy. My eyes began to slip closed. The lily floated up from my hand up to the surface, along with the bubbles; of my last breath.