23 Thinking

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_^Ashley Wood^_

I walk out of the station salty tears in my eyes, decisions rushing through my mind.

I know Noah's right. How is anything to change if I don't do anything for myself and speak up?

But what if it all back fires? What if my dad acts like nothing happened and his let loose? What if I get beaten again? Maybe I would end up like Toby trying to protect everyone. I can't let my mum go through that again.

I have been walking for an hour. No idea where I am. No decisions have been made. More tears flooding than before.

I can't deal with this.

I can't stay on my own in the streets for two more nights, just to get arrested and asked more questions.

I can't.

I can't deal with my dad, or Keith or protecting my mum and brother.

I stop, looking at the sun rising above a hill.

Where am I?

I'm no longer in town.
Or near the beach.
Or near home.
Where am I?

Shit.

I'm lost.

I have no money, food, water, blanket, shelter, my phone practically dead I can't ring any one.
Oh my god.

I walk towards a small road street lamp and curl up lean on the cold, metal pole.
Trying to think of positive things I think about the beach earlier yesterday.

I think about our off-key singing to the kaiser Chiefs, Ash and loads of other bands.

I think about the surf and Noah getting a funny sun burn, causing him to take his shirt of, revealing his abs.

Why am I thinking about him?

I shake my head and go back to thinking of all the waves, the sun, all the laughter and messing around.

I think about putting sun cream on Nicks back and writing those words.

An in controllable smile reaches across me face.

His gonna kill me.

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