Dear Diary..

Chapter 13 - Feelings

Dear diary,
What have I done?! I messed up for gods sake what's wrong wrong with me? I hurt him and I.. I love him. I can't write about it right now. It's too painful. But I know this, I'm going to put it right. Now.
See ya, Roselyn xox

I put my diary down and grab a big jumper. I look like rubbish but I don't care because I've been tearful all evening after hurting Will. I shouldn't have said something so goddamn stupid! I slide on my converse and head to Will's house.
***
I knock on the door, shivering slightly in the cold. At least it's summer term and not winter but it's late. Then I hear movement from inside the house and am greeted by Will's mum looking pretty and smiley.
"Oh, hi Roselyn!" She grins down at me.
"Hi Miss Walker, I'm really sorry to just turn up like this," I apologise," but I really need to speak to Will"
"Sure, honey, come in!" she replies kindly and turns around to call him down from his room.
My heart is thumping and I shake slightly. 'Breathe in, breathe out,' I tell myself and before I know it I'm face to face with the gorgeous boy and my head starts spinning and the butterflies go wild in my stomach.
"Hi" he says, not even looking at me
"Will.. I -"
"I know. It's ok, I said don't worry." He says but he's still not looking at me. He looks tired and I still feel heavy with guilt.
"No it's not ok! I didn't mean it and I'm really, really sorry. I just didn't think you'd go for a girl like me, you're so.. gorgeous" I blush " and I just stupidly assumed our kiss wouldn't mean anything to you because I bet you get girls falling at your feet" I explain but I feel as though I'm just rambling on. I can't stop though, everything's coming out, "I never thought I'd fall for you, Will. I put my guard up to protect myself from getting hurt but as I got to know you, you were different and I found myself always thinking of you and my heart races when I see you and when you talk to me head spins an-" he cuts me off. But not in the way you'd expect. He kisses me.
"Roselyn" he begins, " a guy like me - whatever that means - would like a girl like you. A lot. You're beautiful and innocent and kind. You're way out of my league to be honest" he puts his hands on my cheeks and kisses my forehead, "and you're the first girl I've ever brought home, Rosey, I wouldn't hurt you like that. You're special"
I'm speechless. Completely, utterly, totally speechless!
"It's late, Rosey, let me walk you home" he said, taking my shaky hand and leading me out the door, his other arm around me, keeping me warm.
Everything just feels.. Perfect!