Irresistible

9-Im What

The song for this chapter is

Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding

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A month has passed and still I get bullied at school. I find myself wondering if it was really worth it anymore. I'm not even sure what to do anymore.

No one knows but I have turned to cutting. Something needs to make me feel better from being called 'useless' 'slut' 'whore' etc. somehow many people found out about me being raped by my brother. But of course they would see it a different way.

That's the reason they call me terrible names. I really feel like I don't belong anywhere. All the hate has caused me to drop off of the Tennis team. I quit shortly after my severely sprained ankle healed. It was too long to return after it healed anyway. I have started falling short in my studies. My grades have fallen.

No one knows what I go thru, not even my bestfriend, we don't even hang out anymore. She's always busy hanging with her boyfriend. I hate thinking about it because then I start to realize that I will never have one. I really think there's no hope left for me.

Most days I find myself staring at the wall, in deep thought, about what I don't ever remember. I have started skipping classes lately due to sickness. Lately I haven't been feeling well. I've been vomiting and had severe stomach pains. I've had migraines, fevers, clamminess. I'm starting to wonder if I have come down with the flu. I sure hope not, flu in the summer is the worst.

I scheduled an appointment with my doctor, hoping to stop these flu symptoms before they get any worse. I was dressed and ready to walk out the door, when the familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach came. I felt it start to rise into my mouth as I reached the bathroom. I threw the toilet seat open and vomited the contents of my breakfast.

I flushed the toilet once I finished and started brushing my teeth, to remove the taste of hydrochloric acid from my mouth. I hated puking, it's the worse thing a person can do. I hate the gagging feeling when trying to get it up and out of my mouth. What's worse is when you can feel it coming and you're trying so hard to not let it come up, but it does anyway.

I finished up and headed to my 9:00 appointment.

I arrived at the unfamiliar doctors office. I walked to the desk and signed in, then took a seat. I am 10 minutes early, so I closed my eyes to rest a bit. I never really come to the doctors unless I absolutely have too. I hate them. Well not the doctors but just being here makes me sick.

I think a doctors office is one of the worst places to be. It's so easy to become contaminated by something. I'm always careful of who and what I touch when I'm here. I'm a very healthy girl, I hardly ever get sick, I guess it's just my turn to get sick now.

"Miss Moore." I heard a mans voice say

I opened my eyes and followed the doctor to the back. He had me sit down and took my vitals and then led me to another room.

"So, explain to me what your symptoms, Miss Moore" he was now looking up from his clipboard.

He started writing everything, that I had said down. "We'll I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I just vomited before I came here, and I have been having fevers, along with severe headaches and stomach pain." I clutched my stomach

"Your vitals are extremely high as is your temperature. I will notify the doctor as soon as I see him. The doctor should be with you shortly" he smiled at me and exited the small room. I guess he's not the doctor...

I was now laying down on the table, trying to make the pain go away, when I heard someone walk in. "Hello, I'm Dr. Snow. I have been informed of your symptoms." I started sitting up

"Please stay laying down as I check your stomach"I laid back down and he began moving his hands on my stomach, as if he was massaging it, but he was feeling for anything in my stomach.

"You can sit up now" he instructed

He then began to listen to my heart with his stethoscope. He moved it to my back "take a deep breath" I inhaled then exhaled. We repeated it a couple more times

"Your breathing seems to be a little more spaced out. I'm going to have them run a couple of tests on you then Ill know for sure. I don't think it's anything severe though." He said as he marked his clipboard

He exited the room and I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding.

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A couple tests later and I'm sitting in the same room waiting for my rest results. I can't wait to go home and get some rest.

"We have your results. It's amazing news" the nurse said as he walked in.

Good news? I'm in fucking pain and he says there's good news?! Is this guy mental?!! I don't understand.

I furrowed my brow in confusion as he spoke. "We can give you medicine to help you keep your food down and to ease the pain, but that is the most we can do. Make sure you eat enough food and drink enough liquids, and you should be better in no time." God, I wish he would just get to the point.

"Miss Moore,............you are pregnant. Congratulations!" He spoke excitedly, as if this was the best day in the world.

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