"Jensen, hotbaby, when did you last see Sunita?" asks Kim Kardashian.
Jensen looks concerned. "This morning, why?"
"Apparently she didn't turn up to her Theatre or Italian class. Now it's 6pm and she still hasn't come home!" Kim bursts into tears. "Without a daughter to make fun of, my own faults will be exposed!"
"Now, now, don't worry, honey." Jensen hugs Kim from behind. "I'm sure she's not dead, yet."
Niall walks in, looking dreamy and cute. "What is going down?"
"Sunita is DEAD!" Kim wails.
"Oh," Niall replies. "What's for dinner?"
"She's not really dead," says Jensen. "She's probably just been kidnapped and forced into slavery. We'll find her."
"I'll call the guys so they can look for her," Niall says reassuringly. "I'll give them one of her 93 scarves so they can sniff it and track down her scent. They'll find her in no time."
While Niall calls One Direction for help, Kim responds to his earlier question. "We're having pasta for dinner. It's Pasta Tuesday, remember?"
Jensen looks at the camera in horror and realisation. "If Sunita isn't here... who is narrating the story?"
The family members all stop in their tracks.
"Oh..." says Kim in discomfort.
The woman then serves the pasta into nine bowls. One for her, one for Niall, and seven for Jensen, who is a bare greedy ho. They start to eat their dinner, and four seconds later, they are finished. The butler cleans the kitchen as everyone else goes outside with a cat bell.
"Come on, Sunita. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..." they chant in unison. Their next door neighbours' six year old daughter, Kitty, appears.
"'Sup..." she says. They kick her in the face and move on.
Suddenly, a flock of crows descends from the dark, cloudy skies. One of the spooky birds swoops down and snatches the bell from Niall's hand, and then they all disappear into the night sky whence they came.
"Oh, well that sucks," says Jensen, "but I guess we can try again tomorrow."
"Shouldn't we call the police?" asks Kim.
"The police force is for losers..." Jensen tells her. They shrug and go home.
"I think there's some more pasta in the refrigerator," says Kim.
Jensen is happy once more. "Let's eat our sorrows away."
I cackle. It's almost time...
YOU ARE READING
Once Upon a Girl
Short StoryShe was just a small town girl... After randomly finding herself displaced from her normal life and into a midwestern family, Sunita is trying to adjust to a brand new high school. Can she survive the dramas of teenage life? Note: this book is a par...
