Cheradine- Lost and found

Chapter 3

Nadine tries to put that little misunderstanding out of her mind while she listens to Cheryl talk about the upcoming X-Factor live shows but Nadine can’t help feeling like they’re being avidly watched. It’s not that she minds the implication – she freely admits she’s a fag hag, so she has absolutely no problem with gay people – it’s just that no one’s ever mistaken her for being gay before, never mind with one of her friends.

Still, she thinks as she lets her gaze run over Cheryl’s features, if she’s going to be mistaken as one half of a famous lesbian couple, she could do a hell of a lot worse than the Geordie...  She blinks rapidly in an attempt to dispel that thought, only to find Cheryl staring at her.

“Sorry, I must’ve gone into a wee world of my own there for a second,” Nadine says, cringing slightly.

Cheryl tuts. “Oh thanks very much.”

“Go on,” Nadine says, flashing a sheepish smile. Her first instinct is to touch Cheryl’s hand again, to prove her attentiveness, and she’s already reached halfway across the table before she thinks better of it, in case the gesture is again misconstrued.

“I just wish I could be done with the X-Factor. I don’t wanna be in the public glare right now,” Cheryl says with a long-suffering sigh. “The pap's are camped outside me gates daily and everywhere I go they’re shoutin’ questions about me and Ashley. We haven’t released a statement yet and I’ve asked me publicist to deny everythin’ but I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up.”

“Cheryl,” Nadine begins delicately, playing with the stem of her wine glass. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here but, well... I’m surprised you’re not with Kim right now.”

A pained smile touches Cheryl’s lips. “I’ve told her the whole story and she asked us to come and stay with her but I don’t wanna impose on her and Justin. It wouldn’t be fair on them to have to put up with the intrusion. You know how private Kimba is.”

Nadine nods. Out of any of them, Kim’s the only one that’s managed to have some semblance of a normal life without every detail of her comings and goings plastered across the tabloids. It helps that Kim generally avoids glitzy celeb parties and nightclubs unless she has to go for promotional reasons. The rest of them probably enjoy the spotlight and the trappings it brings a little too much.

“You know you can stay with me as long as you need to.”

“Thanks,” Cheryl says, a touch of relief in her voice. “I have to go back soon though. The live shows start in three weeks time. Simon’s gonna be furious if me personal life starts to overshadow the programme. Not lookin’ forward to tellin’ him.”

“Simon can sod off. Your happiness is more important than some bloody TV talent show.”

Nadine surprises herself with the ferocity of her response, never mind Cheryl.

They haven’t always been close, she and Cheryl. If she’s honest in recent years they’ve drifted apart a bit. Being in different time zones, different continents, it was bound to happen. But seeing Cheryl vulnerable like this inspires something protective in Nadine. For one thing, she’d like to give that arsehole Ashley a piece of her mind...

The brunette looks at her with raised eyebrows, an amused smile on her lips. “maybe you should tell Simon then.”

**

Nadine puts Cheryl up in one of her spare bedrooms that night.

Her place in LA isn’t exactly a mansion; compared to the house Cheryl and Ashley shared, it’s relatively modest. Property prices in the fashionable parts of LA are astronomical, a lot higher than even in London and Nadine’s nothing if not prudent. It has a pool and a great view, enough rooms for a few friends to stay over, and is close enough to her parents’ place to drop her washing off every once in a while.

She allows Cheryl some privacy to get settled but she can’t help feeling the need to check on her. So she knocks gently on the bedroom door. “Cheryl, are you decent? Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” comes the muffled response from the other side.

Nadine enters the room to find Cheryl in bed, huddled under the blanket. The lamp’s on, casting the room in a warm orange glow, but even from the doorway Nadine can see Cheryl’s been crying.

Nadine sits on the edge of the bed and places a comforting hand on Cheryl’s shoulder.

She isn’t sure what to say. Every platitude and encouragement that she goes over in her head just sounds inadequate.  Thankfully Cheryl takes the decision out of her hands.

“He was cheatin’ on me. Again,” Cheryl mumbles as the tears run down her face, dampening the pillow beneath her cheek. She doesn’t look at Nadine, just stares at a fixed spot on the wall. “This time it was some slutty fuckin’ glamour model, though there’s probably others he hasn’t told us about.”

Nadine remains quiet, though she tightens her grip on Cheryl’s shoulder to make her presence felt, to urge her on.

“He promised us he wouldn’t do it again. He promised.” Cheryl’s eyelids squeeze closed and Nadine moves her hand to cup the Geordie’s cheek, thumb sweeping away another wash of tears. “I trusted ‘I'm, Nadz. How could he do this to us?”

Nadine feels the sting of tears pricking behind her own eyes in sympathy. “Because he’s a bloody idiot who only thinks with his willy!” she exclaims, finding herself getting angry on Cheryl’s behalf. She takes a calming breath, trying to get her emotions under control because it won’t help Cheryl, Nadine lambasting her no-good husband.

“The worst part of it is that just a few weeks ago we were tellin’ everyone our marriage was solid, that our relationship couldn’t be stronger. What a fuckin’ joke.”

“You weren’t to know.”

“I should’ve though. I should’ve known. All those times he said he was goin’ out with the lads...” Cheryl shakes her head. “How could I have been so stupid? Especially after last time?”

“Cheryl, you can’t keep beatin’ yourself up about it,” Nadine says, urging the brunette to meet her gaze. Scrubbed free of make-up and clad in pyjamas, it strikes Nadine how young Cheryl looks. “He did this, not you.”

“Men are such bastards,” Nadine mutters after a moment. “I mean, Jesus, if this can happen to the world’s sexiest woman, what hope do the rest of us have?”

Despite herself, Cheryl chuckles. “Don’t you start.” She wipes away a tear with her balled fist. “I don’t feel sexy right now, I can tell ya.”

Nadine looks down at her, smiling, as she swipes another stray tear with her thumb, palm still resting on Cheryl’s cheek. The realisation doesn’t hit her immediately, how intimate this position is but when it does, Nadine gives herself a little start. She’s about to move her hand away when Cheryl’s fingers wrap around her wrist, holding her in place.

“Will you stay with us tonight?” the Geordie asks, almost shyly. “I don’t wanna be alone.”

Nadine just nods because she doesn’t trust her voice.