Dinner that night is fraught with a weird kind of tension.
Cheryl compliments the food – beef lasagne with ciabatta – but it seems perfunctory. They make smalltalk about their respective solo projects, nodding and murmuring comments in all the right places but the conversation is forced and stilted.
Neither of them wants to bring up the incident from this afternoon but its presence is felt like an invisible, unwanted third guest at the table.
They’d almost kissed – for the second time in one day, and it wasn’t one-sided. Nadine hadn’t imagined that. She also hadn’t imagined the intensity of the look Cheryl had given her. Now it’s all she can think about and she isn’t sure she can pretend otherwise, not for much longer anyway.
It’s a moment or two before she realises Cheryl’s staring at her expectantly. “What? Sorry, I was miles away.”
“Would you like a top up?” the Geordie repeats, nodding towards the half-full bottle of wine between them.
“No, thanks.” The last thing Nadine needs is to wind up tipsy and blurting something she might regret later.
Not that it stops Cheryl from filling her own glass and Nadine notices, for the first time that evening, that the brunette’s hand is shaking as she brings the glass to her lips.
**
She’d left Cheryl on the veranda while she went inside to fill the dishwasher with their dinner plates and when Nadine comes back outside Cheryl’s leaning on the railing, gazing out at the sprawling blanket of lights that make up Los Angeles.
The view has nothing on Cheryl though. In a backless midnight-blue sundress that skims the tops of her thighs, she looks absolutely stunning.
For a full minute Nadine debates with herself whether she should approach Cheryl or leave her in peace but the need to put an end to this awkwardness between them wins out.
“I can see why you love it here,” the Geordie remarks as Nadine appears beside her.
Pack of ciggies in hand, Nadine pulls one out. “Do you mind?”
Cheryl glances over, shakes her head. Unlike the last time she found out Ashley was cheating and she started endlessly chain-smoking, this time she’s gone to the other extreme and gone cold turkey.
Not that Nadine’s rubbing the nicotine-withdrawal thing in Cheryl’s face, it’s just that she needs something to get through this. So she brings the cigarette to her lips, lights it, and takes a lungful before expelling the smoke into the cool night air. She repeats this a few times, tendrils of smoke curling around her, until she feels calm enough to speak.
“Can we talk?”
Beside her, Cheryl seems to stiffen and her smile is fixed when she turns to Nadine. “Of course, babe.”
“I wanted to clear the air about earlier, when we arrived back,” Nadine says, giving the other woman a meaningful look. The Geordie’s guarded expression gives nothing away, so Nadine charges on before she loses her nerve. “You were upset and I was comfortin’ you and things got a bit... charged. But it doesn’t mean anythin’ so you don’t have to be uncomfortable around me.”
There’s a long silence during which Nadine convinces herself that she’s made things a million times worse with her ramblings because now they can’t even pretend to be in denial over the whole situation.
“What if I want it to?” Cheryl says, so quietly that Nadine has to strain to hear her.
“What?”
Cheryl takes a step closer, eyes as inky dark as the sky. “What if I want it to mean somethin’?”
“Oh,” Nadine breathes out. Feck.
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Cheradine- Lost and found
FanfictionNadine is in LA when Cheryl unexpectedly fly's over to visit. Cheryl confesses that she is divorcing Ashley as he has cheated on her again. Nadine decides to take Cheryl out for a meal when a waiter see's them holding hands and assumes they're gay...
