Loneliness| s.reid

15

Clare's POV

"He's having splitting headaches." I said to Hotch and Hotch raised his eyebrows. Hotch glanced over at Spencer who was gripping his face again. Hotch looked frightened by this. His eyes wide and flickered to Spencer over and over.

"Again?" Hotch said almost standing up but I put an arm out. If wasn't intentional but it happened. "Clare-"

"I'm sorry sir but I'm just not sure if that's a good idea." I rambled with a shake of my head. Hotch's eyes narrowed and he looked at me. "He's might just snap at you, I mean he's always a bit defensive considering this is a scary age for him-"

"I understand." Hotch said turning back to me and away from Spencer. I nodded. "Thank you." He continued and pressed his lips a little more. "Your doing really well." I felt my hear skip a beat, getting a compliment from my boss made me feel good about myself.

"Um- thank you sir." I said and he nodded. Then he smoothed his tie and stood up, walking away from me while I sat on the plane. I knew that the last thing that Spencer needed was someone asking him about his schizophrenia. That was one of his biggest fears.

"Clare!" It was Spencer who came shuffling to me with an excited look on his face. I raised an eyebrow at him, shutting a book. "So I was thinking that- um- we could get that cup of coffee- maybe talk about- about that book." He said and pointed at the book, "I've read it." Spencer continued, I nodded.

"Yeah Spence that would be great," Truth be told I wasn't excited about this. I knew we would eventually talk about what we hadn't in the weeks I was there. "Do you- um- want to drive when we land?" I asked him and felt a small shiver run my spine.

"Where are you two kids going?" Derek's voice ran through my ears, I froze. Barely looking at him or Spencer. Spencer looked at a lose for words. Like he didn't know how to lie to Derek. He wasn't used to it.

"Um- coffee." Spencer couldn't lie to Derek. I then saw Dereks eyebrows up in the air with pure shock.

"Like a date?" Derek then asked us while sitting next to me. For some reason I felt my chest close up. Spencer and I both looked down, Derek's eyes traveled between us carefully. "I'm only kidding guys, chill." He laughed and went off again to lay down, taking a map.

"Really coffee?" I asked him and Spencer's shoulders hit his ears. "That's all you could come up with?" I asked him once again and he turned red. Then I saw him look up.

"You would have froze too." Spencer said bak to me, his head shooting forward a little. I smiled. "How are we going to keep this from him- I can- I can barely lie it him about how much sugar or coffee I've had?" Spencer then side lifting his head, his eyes barely visible from under his lashes.

"I don't know, but we have to." I said to him and he sighed looking down. "You know he'll freak out." I said to him swallowing slightly. It was true, Derek would freak out and he would kill Spencer. Or at the very least hospitalize him. That made me sick to my stomach.

"He's not so tough." Spencer said and my eyes widened. Then we both broke into a laugh.

***

"Thanks." I whispered looking down as Spencer held the door open for me to the cafe. He gave me a nod with pressed lips, I face I knew as a defense that he used when he wasn't sure what to say. I liked that look.

He pulled out the chair too. I again gave him a faint smile while taking my seat, he seemed nervous and didn't hide it well. I wasn't sure if I was hiding my anxiety well. I probably wasn't because he was looking to me constantly, or that was his nerves.

"Here you go." A boy no older than 19 said to us in a light voice while setting out cups in front of us. Spencer had out tones of sugar in his, I had gotten French Vanilla. Neither of us said anything, we sipped our cups of coffee and stared blankly at each other shoes.

"I'm sorry this is awkward." Spencer said setting his cup down, shrugging. I broke into a grin and shook my head. "I guess neither of us wants to talk about the hypothetical elephant in the room." I smiled at his word choice, it was adorable.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked him and he stared blankly at me. This question had been clawing and eating at my insides since I found out that he was friends with my brother. Then he nodded with a redefining look on his face that gave me a small boost.

"If you had known that I was Derek's sister would you have still- still-" I couldn't think of the right words and I really hoped that he would get what I was asking. I saw him blink and glance down, crossing his legs.

"If I had known I think-" He stopped, he didn't want to make me feel bad or upset me, he also didn't want to lie to me. "If we had randomly stumbled upon this months ago then we would have things figured out because I've found that people are much more open online then in person." I smiled as he rambled.

"And before?" I asked. I wasn't very sure why this was important to me. But I wanted to know, even though that wasn't a possibility. I also knew that this was a touchy subject that made me seem- bitchy.

"I would have been hesitant but if you started working with us then-" Spencer stopped again and finally looked up at me, a small blush coated his usually pale cheeks. "I would be just as in love with you."

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A/N

This chapter is da bomb and Clare+Spencer is da bomb. Clancer or Splace or Spenre or Clarncer idk someone help

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