I cried harder.
I never thought that I would self harm. This is my first time and I love it. I love the feeling.
I sliced my wrist more and more, making some cuts deeper then they are.
I cut more times and just went insane. I started cutting my whole arm and didnt care how much blood was coming out.
I hated myself. I hated how I looked. I hated how I wasn't perfect. I guess... I'm just not... Good enough.
I then dropped the blade.
I looked at my arm seeing bloody cuts. I then ran downstairs to the kitchen, opening the top drawer.
I pulled out some pills from the small container. I turned back around, heading upstairs until I saw Christina standing there with Nate.
"What the fuck are you doing!!??" Christina yelled.
I ignored her and ran into the nearest room then locked myself in there and swallowed all the pills.
"GRAYSON STOP!! GRAYSON PLEASE!!" Christina yelled from the other side of the door, banging on it.
I blocked my ears and swallowed the rest of the pills.
I then started feeling dizzy.
I just wanted to get it over with and die already. I banged my head against the wall, hoping to get a severe concussion and then die.
Then every thing goes black.
•••
I wake up in the hospital. I look around and see Christina and a sleeping Ethan on a chair.
"Grayson!" Christina says as she sees me wake up. FUCK.
"I'm so glad your awake-" Christina said, coming closer to me.
"Please dont come near me" I tell her.
"But Grayson-"
"JUST GET OUT!!! WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND I DONT WANT YOU IN HERE! I WANTED TO DIE. I HOPE I DIE!! SOMEONE FUCKING KILL ME PLEASE!!" I scream, waking up Ethan.
Tears start streaming out of my eyes. I just wanted to die.
"Shh buddy your okay" Ethan says TRYING to calm me down.
"KILL ME ETHAN PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!" I cry, the doctor then comes in.
He walks up to me.
"Please Mr.Dolan, calm down. Take a deep breath in, and breath out. In and out" the doctor said.
In and out my ass
I got up from the bed and pulled the tubes and everything off me. The doctor then tried to lay me back down.
"Get your hands off me! Im fine!" I yell. I dont know why the doctor listened.
I walked into the bathroom and changed into my regular clothes. Once I was done, Ethan payed for the hospital shit and I waited in his car.
"That was really stupid Gray. Why the fuck will you do that?!" Ethan yells at me as he gets in the car and turns it on then starts driving away.
"Why are you like this? I swear if its about Christina-"
"It is"
Ethan then stops the car abruptly, making my body go forward quickly.
I turn my head and look at Ethan to see him gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. His jaw is tightly clenched and you can tell he is mad.
"She isn't worth it Grayson. Christina is only making your life worse. She is the reason why you were in the hospital. GET OVER HER!!"
"I CANT!" I scream. There was a moment of silence.
"Your stupid bro. Really stupid" Ethan says shaking his head and driving again.
"Your stupid for getting drunk and Im stupid for falling in love. So what." I mumble under my breath.
"Whatever dude just shut up" Ethan says.
•••
Im now home, cleaning up the mess I made. I picked up the desk, cleaned the dry blood off the floor in the bathroom which was hard and picked up every little glass.
Once I was finished everything, I layed in my bed.
All of this just for one fucking girl who doesn't even love me back.
Christina's POV
I hate Grayson
I hate Grayson
I hate Grayson
No matter how much I tell myself that he will always be the love of my life...
•••
Forgot to update yesterday, sorry hoes but here ya go💖 :]
