Effeminate Within

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter 17

WHEN MOM CALLED yesterday, I told her what happened. She asked for Greg's number and she called him herself to express her condolence. Mom told me that he would be extending her vacation in the Philippines for two weeks and for what reason, she said it was a secret. I received my allowance from her which was really not enough to survive a month. I wanted to tell mom that it was not sufficient, but instead I shut my mouth up and convinced myself that there was a reason why she couldn't give me an enough budget. I suggested to mom that I would be able to save more money if Greg and I would live together and would share for the rental fee. Mom laughed at this for whatever she had in her mind and it took her seconds to reply. I was glad she said yes. Well, it was meant only to be a joke. Living together with Greg too soon like we were married couples never crossed my mind until that moment.

The apartment that Sean left was still vacant. I must say that I had gotten over from him. But sometimes I would still think of him, of how he was going to react on what's happening to Greg and me. Would he accept it or be against it? Well, he was not here to answer that question.

Yvonne was energetic when she answered the phone. She was always like that. I doubt if the Dopamine in her brain ever ran out. She started telling long and uncountable stories again about random things and people. She laughed at her own joke and talked like the person on the other line was someone who was interested at any of those stuffs.

"Are you guys still dating?" I asked when she opened up Jerome in our conversation... or I must say her stories.

"Of course, dear. We are unbreakable as diamond now." She said. I grunted at this, remembering how many time she said that with her previous boyfriends. "And speaking of Jerome... his cousin. Your lover, I mean."

I literally flinched to hear that. How did she find that out? "What about Lance? And, Yvonne, he's not my lover." I lied, but I knew that Yvonne might have known that truth more than I did. She paused for a long moment and I felt my heart thrumming hard now, nervous of whatever bad news was that. Lance sounded gloomy in our last phone call.

"You mean you do not know?" Yvonne's voice turned serious.

"Know what? I don't know anything." I said, taking a gulp of air before Yvonne could answer.

It took Yvonne another seconds and I heard her taking a deep breath, "I thought you already know about it since you are the closest to him. Well, he will be leaving the country together with his aunt and uncle. Jerome said that their flight will be next week, so... I'm surprised you still don't know it."

The back of my neck started to get cold. Lance was leaving in a week and yet he did not tell me anything about it when he called last time. I couldn't help myself but be anxious about the possible reasons why Lance didn't tell. I tried to be positive, thinking that he wanted to surprise me. But I knew I won't be surprised with happiness but with annoyance and sadness.

***

My psychology professor's discussion about emotions earlier was quite a relatable one for everybody in the class. She tackled about love first. She said that true love comprised affection, commitment and intimacy.

Affection was a proof of your love for someone through physical means. For example was kissing, hugging or holding hands. Most people got confused with the idea of affection with sex. Though sex could be an example, this must be done only by married couple

Next was commitment. Commitment was the attachment that you and your partner had. Commitment might come with rules. This made me think. Should I set rules for Greg and me? My professor said commitment was what they called the string attached to both party. It was what made them connected all the time.