green eyes

tujuhbelas || seventeen

I ran towards my class, as i passed through some of the crowd I fell, the books and papers that had been neatly arranged in my hands flew and fell on the floor "Oops, I'm sorry, I did it on purpose" Delilah Smith laughing, she started kicking me while the other kids were laughing at me.

"You dumb elephant"

"Eww you do not deserve to school here!" Tears began to flow from my eyes

"Oh dear I know why Josh went away, because he was embarrassed to have a sister like you!" they laugh.

"What the hell happened?" A voice boomed, "No one can bother Chris or you will be dealing with me," The voice was threatening, and some kid pushed out of the way "Everyone understand?" His eyes darker as he looked at his surroundings, and when his eyes saw me, his eyes softened, he crouched in front of me.

"Oh princess, what happened?" he asked softly, his thumb wipe the tears.

I jolted up, with sweats everywhere. I gulped on my dried throat. I slowly get up from the bed and walked to the connected kitchen and take a glass of water with my shaky hand.

Is this sign I should come to visit Josh? Or maybe Marie*

There's no way I could go back to sleep with the sun already shining brighter outside. I look up to the digital clock;
10;44 a.m. I knitted my eyebrows and grab to my phone on the stand charges.

I dialled Cara's number, "Hello Chris, good morning"

"Hey, can we meet? At the Big Joe's?"

She chuckles, "You remember that place, I miss that place too," I could hear her smile to the memories, "when?"

"Twelve or you decided, but sooner is better. I just woke up, by the way"

"Okay then twelve, can I bring Eric?"

"Sure, bring him"

We hang up, and I throw my phone on the bed before open the windows for the wet bed.

I rushed to the shower and get dressed. I maybe will be there earlier, I put my shoes on and grab my sunglasses and handbag.

I lock my door and walk to the elevator, note to myself, I need groceries.

I take a cab to Big Joe's. This place is still the same, nothing changed. I got myself a booth, on the corner of the line. Just next to the window. I always loved the next to windows booths.

"Welcome to Big Joe's, what drink I could get you?"

"A iced lemon tea, please and I think I'll be ordering later when my friends are here"

"Be right back with you drink" the waitresses said before walking away.

She come back with my drink, just before she turn around. Cara come and sat in front of my with her husband.

They ordered for their drinks, and I could feel her husband eyes on me. I feel uncomfortable, "So, what's up?" Cara said as she fixed her hand on the table surface.

"I want to ask you about someone, that always protect me in high school" I goes straight to the point.

"Me, I always protect you" She responds and her drinks come.

"What would you like to order," Said the waitresses, I ask for a slice of large pizza. With extra cheese.

"Oh, I don't know Cara, but I- do you happen to know someone with Green Eyes in school?" I look down to my hand that somehow turn into something interesting.

"There someone you might be looking for all these time until make you flew here all the way from England. Yes, there someone, he is this person that everyone told their children to not hang out with and your friends told you to not never mess with."

"He is bad person, ever!" Cara spits. "He don't care about anyone but himself, he don't care about anything, he hurts you inside anf out."

Cara seems to hate this guy so much, but I need to see him.

Cara stood and excuse herself to restroom, leaving me with Eric alone in the booth.

"I know I have a lot apologize to do, and I'm sorry that I bullied you back in high school. I know who you and Cara talking about," It's the first time he said a word to me, "All i know is he from England, and now he's there in England. He live with his parents now, and he's Chantell's ex boyfriend. He is a father now, Chris."

"Cara used to date him, he betrayed her. He's a biggest asshole in the world"

Then why he always haunt me in my dreams? Why he always show up? Why he always tortures me?

***

I walk to the quiet cemetery, I've been walking for quiet twenty minutes trying to find his tombstone.

And my eyes set on a tombstone. I feel my eyes watered.

MARIE JANE TURNER

23 December 2011
A mother, wife, daughter, and friend.
gone but not forgotten

She died a day before my birthday, I planning on visiting her house and now I stood on her last rest. Her last house. Her last Home.

And I look to the right, they buried next to each-other. Look like Marie planned to buried next to her son. My step brother.

JOSHUA MARTIN CARTER

I split the bouquet of white lilies into two, five petals for Josh and five to Marie.

I take a seat on the middle, and smiles to the tombstones. "Look at you now guys, you are turn to be tombstones. That's how people will know you are here now. That's now your house, your home."

A tears well done wetting my cheeks, "I miss you guys, both of you. And I miss you so much Josh, you too mommy"

"Your little girl is be big now, but she lost her memories," I sobs, "Mommy, are you look down for me?" I look at her tombstone as I talk. Turn to her right to Josh' "Are you look down for me, brother?"

My fingers playing with the grass on the cemetery, I never really this broken.

I miss my childhood where everything still the same, everything is perfect. I want to be a child again, where I could do anything without worries about world. I want to be able to cuddle to both of you, Josh and Mom. I want to able to see your beautiful honest smile, I want to able to have my late night stories.

I miss when everything is so beautiful and light. Not when everything is blurry and uncertain.

****

Double update!!