Dedicated to my favorite: the one, the only, thelenajackson
-Plex
A/N: Read all the stories! I have more on this account and on czmmmm.
"And then she buried the seeds, ugh, I'm so emotional. Tell me you cried just a little, Allie-oop." We're walking back to the car from the theater, and I'm still trying to get my eyelashes back in the right order after all the weeping I've done.
"Didn't even tear up. Sorry."
"That was such a good movie."
"If you say so, dearest."
"Did you forget your soul at home with the Sno-Caps?" We bought a box at the theater, but it's just not as fun as sneaking them in.
"I kinda dozed off during the middle," he confesses.
I stop in my tracks and face him. "Okay, listen, we need to talk," I begin seriously. "As an actress, I can't be seen with someone incapable of appreciating a cinematic masterpiece. You and I are breaking up."
"But Mitchie," he whines, "I was just starting to like you!"
"If you don't like Pixar, it's entirely possible you're incapable of liking anything at all."
"What's impossible is not liking you," he laughs. He makes a good point. "He tried," he breathes to himself.
"Who tried?"
"Hm? No one. The, uh, ticket taker."
"Oh, please! He didn't even look up!"
"He didn't have to. Even your fingertips are beautiful, not to mention your voice, your smell–"
"My scent."
"Even your B.O., honey."
I plant a kiss on his jaw in my favorite spot, and he opens the passenger side door for me. On the ride home, I kind of maybe a little bit take advantage of the fact that he's driving to pull out my phone and open Twitter while his eyes are on the road. I haven't delved into Scott's account at all yet beyond replying to the first tweet I saw. I continue our conversation with a new message.
@scomiche22 I cried. Why didn't you warn me??? 😭🌱✨
I'm not sure how long it will take for him to reply, if he does at all. He answered right away the first time, but I probably just got lucky and contacted him while he was online. Besides, he's bound to be super busy because he's on tour right now, and frankly, he's way too famous for this. My fake fan account may have more followers than his fake fan account (by a factor of four, and I know he'll notice that,) but in the real world, he gives Taylor Swift a run for her fat stacks of money. He just keeps getting bigger. His first album topped the charts for six weeks, and he followed it up with an even sadder, angrier, more heartbreaking sequel. People are always shocked when they meet him and find out he's nice; they expect him to be grouchy and bitter all the time. He isn't so far gone that he can't treat his fans well, though. His negative emotions are still there; he just reserves them for himself, his music, and the people closest to him. It was more than Alex and I could handle.
I wish I could have weathered it. It has to pass eventually, right? It gets better. He said that himself, once upon a time. Selfishly, I'm glad I haven't been with him all this time. I would be absolutely miserable by now, utterly crushed. Maybe there was more I could have done, though. Instead, I decided I had come to my breaking point, and I gave up. I gave up entirely, and I fell right into Alex's arms.
At the time, I wanted Scott to know, and I wanted him to know it was his fault, and I wanted him to hate himself for it. I only wanted that because I wanted him to change, though. I wanted him to see his mistakes and just stop. I wanted him to go back to being Scott. I was a fool.
I followed him to the ER the night I called the ambulance. They saw I had a gold ring on and I was holding his hand, and I think some of them wanted to let me ride with him, but even for spouses it's against protocol. I had to follow in my car. I almost didn't go. Someone had to take care of his insurance, though. Someone had to call his parents. I didn't want them pulled in, not because I was afraid to tell them what was happening, but because I knew Scott would attack even them. They had to know how bad it had gotten, though, and it fell to me to talk them as the doctors down the hall threaded a tube up Scott's nose and pumped out his stomach.
Connie and Rick, it turned out, had been in touch with Scott more than I'd realized. They thanked me a thousand times for calling an ambulance, for keeping them abreast, and for trying to help Scott, and then they told me to leave him. "He has no right to your happiness," Connie insisted.
It hadn't been enough to hear that from Alex. It had to come from someone who still cared as much about Scott every bit as much as I did. She loves Scott, and she loves me, and she told me to go. I had wanted to leave for so long, and her support finally gave me the courage.
When I hung up the phone, though, I went to Scott's bedside and waited up for hours until he awoke. He turned toward me as his face registered confusion, then fear, and then the flash of recognition and love that had kept me with him so much longer than was okay. It was swallowed up by disappointment, hurt, hatred, and anger all in quick succession. I stood up before he opened his mouth. I rubbed away my tears with one fist and signed I love you with the other. After everything, that was still true. I loved him as much as ever, I just hated him too. Goodbye. I couldn't bring myself to give a voice to my final farewell.
I went to Alex. I should have gone to Kirstie, or anyone else, but I went to Alex. Alex had left Scott too, and Alex would understand. Alex cared. Maybe he could distract me. He opened the door for me at 3:00 AM. He hugged me tight and he spoke softly to me. He listened and he cried with me. He tucked me into his own warm bed, and he left.
He knew what I thought I needed. He also knew, though, what I actually needed, so he gave me a soft stuffed lion to hold in the night and he slept in his guest room. Not until then did I realize exactly how much I meant to him.
I kept the lion. I named it Richard.
A notification appears at the top of my screen, and I tap it quickly to read Scott's reply.
@mitchellover I'm sorry! Don't cry. It was worth it, right?
