"On to" vs "onto"
"In to" vs "into"
This is a subtle one. I use "onto" or "into" if something is moving onto or into something. If the preposition doesn't involve motion, it's probably because it's part of the verb. For example, you can log on to a website, and "log on" is a verb phrase. You can hold on to a grudge, and "hold on" is the verb. "On" belongs with the verb, then, not the preposition. One more case is "I'm onto you," as in, "I know what you're up to." That's a different meaning of "onto," and it should never be written as two words. Similarly, changing "into" a new form uses one word.
While we're here, let me also tell you that a lot of the things your English teacher taught you are lies. Passive voice is fine, just a little bland and sometimes awkward. "He" is quickly ceasing to be an acceptable singular pronoun for an unknown person of unknown gender, and singular "they" is coming back into use, though it's still uncommon in formal contexts. Ending sentences with prepositions is fine if they're part of verb phrases.
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I survive until next Saturday. I write songs all morning with Avi. I'm really tempted to cancel therapy because this already feels incredibly therapeutic, but I missed last week. This week, I can't really bring myself to face anything head-on. I can't bring myself to admit out loud that I'm hoping Alex will come back, because I'm afraid it won't sound convincing enough, and I don't want to think about what I've lost.
"People mistake me for an extrovert sometimes," I tell Felicia. I can be really gregarious when I'm in my element. My voice gets louder, I smile wide, and I become really theatrical and expressive. I'm happy when I'm alone too, though. I can entertain myself. Company, even when I'm really enjoying it, is draining. There are some people, though, like my family, that I can be around for any amount of time. It takes years to reach that point with friends. Scott and I had known each other for four years when his parents went on vacation in Europe for a week and left him with me. By the end of the week, even after knowing him so long and getting along so well, I was tired of him. I wanted him gone so I could do solitary activities like browsing the web, reading, writing, and drawing. It took about six years with Scott, and it wasn't until eight years in that I felt like he could stay all month without it troubling me. When we lived together, it felt perfectly natural.
Being in Pentatonix and spending our entire lives together really forced the whole process to speed up with Kevin and Avi, and with Kirstie, who was already really close to me. With Alex, having lived with him on and off (because of tour) made it a pretty easy transition. I got about 90% of the way to where I wanted to be. I still took time to myself to recharge most days, but I needed less and less away from him.
Extroverts are always making friends, but I wonder sometimes how much those friendships can really mean. It takes me years to build a relationship. I keep building them, and they keep splitting, and it's going to take me years to forge another of the same quality. It's going to be years before I feel like I belong with another person. I'm not ready to start yet. I have three, well, two and a half, more months until I have to try to move on. Meanwhile, I'm reconnecting with Avi long-distance a bit, and he's exactly the kind of low-stress, easygoing person I need.
Rambling to Felicia doesn't make me feel much better today, but she affirms my choices. I'm right not to press Alex. I'm right to lean on Avi. I'm right to stay away from Scott and all his drama. I'll be happy in the end, she tells me.
Aaron sends a list of five apartments, each with a paragraph summary of its pros and cons. I'm literally so spoiled. The closest I've had to a personal assistant before was Esther, and apartment shopping for someone else was way beneath her pay grade. Aaron's not half as experienced or competent, but he wants to impress me, not because he's a fan, particularly, but because I'm famous and he must want something out of Hollywood. In any case, I'm impressed. I could live in any of these apartments. The one with the matte black brick and the spiral staircase leading up to the loft particularly captures my attention, though. It's gorgeous, and it allows cats as long as I pay a higher deposit. It's smaller than the others, but Aaron was probably looking for two-person apartments.
