{LIE} Lost in Existence [Editing]

Day Twelve

 {unedited.  And this time, there are definitely some mistakes}

Lost in Existence

Day Twelve

This was it.

This was the moment of truth.

If I was being completely honest with myself, I had been planning this in the back of my mind ever since I realized that I was in love.  Up front, this was a rash and unplanned decision. 

But I wasn’t going to regret it.

Slowly I walked up to the school.  I took a moment to look at it.  This would be the last time I would ever see it. After this, I wouldn’t ever be coming back here.

Since that day at school when I was humiliated beyond repair, I haven’t returned to school.  I’ve called in sick, saying that I have an infection or some other crazy thing.  I don’t really care.  They can’t make me go there.

Breathe in, breathe out…

I just had to keep telling myself that.  I wasn’t going to back down.  I wanted this.  I needed this.

Just put one foot in front of the other.

Slowly I was at the school doors.  I pushed them opened, wincing as they made a loud noise.  I hope I don’t attract any attention.

It was still afternoon, so I knew that the hockey team would be practicing, or rather, exercising.  They worked out every day in the gym.

It was more silent in here than it had ever been before.  Shivering, I hugged myself.  It felt empty in here.  It felt almost as empty as I feel inside.

I headed toward the gym and weight room on the left side of the school. 

The thought of seeing Adam had my heart fluttering and my stomach filling with butterflies.  He was so beautiful. 

After everything that’s happened, I know that I shouldn’t like him.  I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it.  I guess the saying “the heart wants what the heart wants” is completely true.  Adam has hurt me beyond repair.  Don’t get me wrong, I was broken beyond repair before, but that just killed me.  I feel like there’s a huge hole in my chest.  Like darkness has blocked out all the sunshine.

As I reached the gym, I hesitated.  I didn’t want to do this with an audience.  I wanted to make this perfect.  I only had one chance and I had no room for error.

I walked to the supply closest next to the doorway to the gym and opened it.  Then, I climbed inside and closed the door.  I left a crack open so that I’d be able to see when Adam came out.

Then I plopped myself down on the floor and sighed heavily.

Tomorrow is the day.  It’s finally the day.  The thought made me feel giddy inside, but it also made me feel sad.  Today would be the last day I’d ever see Adam.  Not that he would care.

I sounded like an obsessed fan girl.  I guess I was obsessed, in a way.  Love sure is a strange thing.

I was sitting there for a while, just pondering my life, or rather, death, before I heard voices outside.  I looked through the crack to see several jocks joking around and leaving the gym.

My eyes were trained on the door waiting for Adam to come out.  One by one, I saw every popular guy leave and all of the hockey team leave.  All except Adam.

Was he not at school today?  Did something happen?  Would I not get to see him one last time?  No, that can’t happen.  I have to see him.  It’s the only---

I was cut off from my thoughts as Adam suddenly walked through the door.

Acting on impulse, I sprang up off the ground and opened the door.  He didn’t seem to notice me, looking distracted.  He turned to the left, the opposite way of where I was and started walking.

I huffed and left the closet and didn’t bother closing it behind me.

I began walking behind him, at a fast pace.  But somehow he just seemed to keep getting father and father away.  Frustrated, I picked up the pace even more, beginning to sprint.

“Adam!”

I yelled his name before I could stop myself.

I saw him freeze and turn around curiously.  I saw the shock on his face as he saw that it was me.

I was still sprinting.  Once I came to the end of the hall, where he was, I slowed to walking.

Then I walked up to him cautiously.

“You know something Adam?” I asked him.  I stared at him, waiting for a reply.  He just looked at me like a gapping fish, so I just continued on.

“You’re a class A jerk.  I hate you.  But guess what...” I trailed off for a second.

I leaned in close and whispered in his ear.  “I’m in love with you.”

Then before he could have time to react, I turned my head to the side and our lips met.

Time seemed to freeze.  To me, his lips were like heaven.  They were a drug, a wonderful drug.  I never wanted it to end.

It was a still kiss but I didn’t care.  I was kissing Adam!  The guy I was in love with!  I felt a smile immediately tug at my lips.

I knew that in a few seconds he would regain his seconds and all hell would break loose.  I had to get out of here before that happened.

Suddenly, I pulled away.  His eyes were wide in shock, but they still looked as beautiful as ever.  I quickly gave him a peck on the cheek before I backed away slowly. 

From then on, my legs acted on their own accord.

I turned around and ran out of there, as fast as I could.  I flew out of the school and down the sidewalk.  But I didn’t stop there.  I kept running, feeling a rush. 

When I finally slowed my pace, I was in front of my door at the orphanage.

I opened the door and stepped inside.  Then I let it fall closed.

For a second all silent, then I collapsed against the floor and slid down to the floor.

“Oh my god.”  I muttered quietly to myself.  “I just did that, didn’t I?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's almost done... :D

Song of the chapter: The Blackout by Get Scared

Words: 1039

Next Chapter: Sunday

I've really enjoyed writing this story.  I hope you've enjoyed reading it.  Sometime in the future, I will start another story, but it will be totally different from this one, so if you're interested, check back on my profile every once and a while :D

 The song for this chapter is just for this chapter.  It doesn't have to do with the rest of the story.  I was listening to it the entire time while writing it. :)

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