I'll Always Promise You (GirlxGirl)

37. So do I

The last couple of weeks has been... strange. I mean that Devin has been acting weird. She has been visiting her friend, Gwen a lot. She goes home with her and don't come home before around nine in the evening. Which cause Kelly to be grumpy and sad. She thinks that her big sister doesn't like her anymore and that breaks my heart to hear.

Kelly keeps that a secret from Devin, but I can see the sadness all over her face when Devin is not home. When Devin comes home the first thing she does it to kiss my cheek and then just go to bed. Not saying a word until the day after. It's like I live every second day on repeat. I'm glad that she has a friend, but it scares me that it might be something else. She doesn't' talk about it as if it is not happening and it freaks me out. It makes me feel that she is hiding something and it's terrifying me.

She can at least tell me what she and Gwen do, after she comes home again. I like to hear how her day goes and what she has been doing. I remember each word she swore and if none of it was true, then it was all just lies. I'm not giving two chances. She knows that much and if she breaks her promise, then I could never forget her for crushing my heart. But I don't think I could ever stop loving her, even if she did.

"I miss Devin." Kelly says sadly, which cause me to kiss the top of her head. She is sitting on my lap while we are watching TV. It's what we do, when Devin is not here or we play games. It's good that I have Kelly here to keep me company or I might have been wandering around on the floor in worry. Kelly keeps me calm and busy with her talking and all of her questions.

"So do I." I sigh, disappointed by my own girlfriend. I am too scared to ask her. What if she is... I swallow hard by my dark thoughts. I know she wants me, but it could just be as easy to find someone else to do it with. Since she can't have me yet. She said she could wait, but I know she is not a very patient person. I love Devin, she is my flame in a world so dark. Everything is bright and warmer when I am around her. Before I was like a winter wind, so cold and heartless. Just a lonely whisper in the darkness and I had no one to answer. Now I do, at least I thought I did.

"I'm home." Devin says as we hear the door open. I rub my sore eyes to hide the fact that a tear almost came out. Kelly jump off my lap and I thought she was going to run to Devin for a hug. Instead, she just watches Devin angry and then march into the bedroom and shut it close. I turn to look at Devin, who seems confused.

"Hi, babe." She smiles as she comes to sit down next to me. She kisses my cheek, just like she always have done the last weeks.

"Hi." I try to smile, but struggle. She yawns as she rests her head on my lap. I can't stop myself from touching her hair. How can she come home and pretend that everything is fine? I love this girl and I thought she loved me, but I guess that is not strong enough if she won't tell me anything. Not just to me, but her little sister as well. Which makes me even more worried.

I move out of the couch and find my way into the bedroom. Finding the little girl lying under the duvet, just like her sister does when she is upset. I lay down and drag the duvet away from her. She watches me for a short moment with her red, sad eyes. I don't blame her. I am angry with Devin as well, but I still love her.

"Come here." I smile and pull her into my arms to comfort her. I think I need it as much as she does. The sound of a plate clinking in the kitchen makes me know Devin is making her something to eat. Kelly takes a hold on my shirt on my shoulder as she buries her face in my neck. I should have taken her to the bathroom so she could have brushed her teeth, but she it to upset to look at Devin right now. I am not going to force her into something she does not want to.

"I love you, Andi." Kelly mumble and I snort lightly of her cuteness.

"I love you too, tiger." I smile.