The Heart's Melody | ✅

Chapter 17: Three is one too many

After the anniversary weekend Tris and her friends returned to New York. They had to prepare for several weeks of touring around the country before they would return to New York and start a new school year.

Tris hoped to see Eric before they started their journey, but the faculty assistant told her he was gone on vacation. She tried to call him a few times, but when he didn't reply to any of her messages she thought maybe he wanted to be alone. She wondered if the older man was still in love with her, but for the weeks prior to his departure he didn't mention anything. He respected her and her relationship with Tobias and he should have known her well enough to know that she would never cheat on her boyfriend. But there was a nagging feeling inside her that told her that something was wrong with him. She cared for him, deeply even, but it wasn't love, at least not a love like she shared with Tobias. No, it was more of a brotherly love she felt toward him. It hurt her that he wouldn't answer her and she wondered if perhaps he got sick and tired to wait for her. Perhaps he found a woman he could be happy with. She knew she should have felt happy for him, but somehow the prospect of him with another woman just unsettled her. She wondered if maybe she had developed romantic feelings for her teacher.

Not able to figure things out on her own she called the only person she knew she could talk too freely and without secrets. She dialed her number and her assistant scheduled an appointment for that evening. Tris hoped it would help her understand her emotions better and find a way to deal with them.

She didn't tell any of her friends about her appointment with Johanna. She needed to keep this to herself, for several reasons. She hated keeping secrets from them, but things had changed. Her relationship with Tobias changed them. If he would have been some random guy she picked up she wouldn't feel as guilty as she did. But as it turned out the man was the older brother of her best friend and even Lynn and Uriah considered him like a surrogate big brother. Tris knew that by revealing her confused thoughts and entangled feelings she would open a realm of mistrust between her and her friends, not to mention her and Tobias. She didn't even know what all that meant.

The only way to figure out her feelings was to talk to the one person who kept her from going mad after Drew.

Tris waited patiently in the waiting room of Dr. Johanna Reyes. She could already smell the familiar scent and instantly felt safe and secure. The moment Johanna's door opened and a middle aged woman exited Tris stood up, feeling very anxious to talk to the professional. Johanna smiled when she saw her young patient and after dismissing her previous patient she invited the young woman inside her office. They sat down like they usually did: Johanna on her comfortable armchair with a notepad in her lap and a mug of Oolong tea on the mahogany coffee table, while Tris sat on the couch facing her. Suddenly, Tris felt ridiculous. She felt like she was a stupid little girl who couldn't figure out on her own how she felt.

"It's good to see you," Johanna told her as she watched the young woman struggle to say something. Johanna knew how difficult it was for Tris to open up, but once she would she would tell her therapist all that bothered her.

"Yeah, good to see you too." Tris wondered how to approach the subject and more importantly to figure out what exactly it was she wanted from Johanna.

"How can I help you today?" she asked and Tris looked at her conflicted. She wondered if her therapist could help her at all.

"I'm confused," Tris finally said. That was certainly not a helpful first sentence, but it surely wasn't an uncommon one either. Most of her patients came to her because they were confused about their feelings. It was Johanna's job to figure out the problem and guide them as best she could in order for them to figure those feelings out. Johanna nodded toward Tris signaling her to continue. "Eric, my friend," she said and Johanna nodded again, "he left and doesn't answer my messages. They told me he went on vacation, but I have this feeling that there's more to it."