Sacrifice: Part II [Kim Taehyung※You※Park Jimin Fanfiction]

Sacrifice Part II: Chapter 20

*Your POV*

As the server handed me the three paper bags of waffles, Jimin cut in front of me to take them before paying the cashier.

"Chimchim-ah~ let me take a bag or two." I offered since he already has a canned drink in one grip.
"No, it's fine. Come, let's eat!" Jimin said, smiling as he led the way towards the round table where Tae already was.

I sat myself next to Taehyung as Jimin places the small bags in front of each of us along with the drinks.
"Which one you want? Strawberry or grape?" Jimin asked whiched drink we wanted to switched when he sat down.

"You choose for me," i said, placing my elbows on the table as i framed my face with my palms, looking over at Jimin.
"Strawberry, then." Smiling with his eyes, Jimin passed me the drink before we all began eating the waffles with different flavors.
Mine was only chocolate, Jimin had chocolate with strawberry jam while Taehyung wanted it with peanut butter and blueberry jam.

"Aahh~! Hhot!" Tae uttered as he began fanning his face while opening up his jaw to let the natural cool air in.

"Silly, Tae Tae. Blow on it first, honey~ 😂😘" letting out a small giggle before opening up his drink for him, handing it over.

*Tae's POV*

[20 minutes later]

"Hey, may i be excused?" Abruptly interrupting our meal, i asked as i slowly pushed my chair backwards.
"Where are you going?" Jimin asked, having the last bite to his waffles.

"Back to the house for a while."
"But we came here together." (Y/n) pointed out, looking up at me as i was already standing up.
"I know, I'll come back. It'll be quick." Reassuring, i threw them a smile before heading off. Not waiting a second longer to hear what they had to say.

I'm sorry.

I drove the car back to Jimin's house, battling with my head and my heart as they both seemed to be screaming at each other.

While on the stirring wheel, my hands began shaking again. From tiny waves to eventually becoming violent shakes.
I held my breath as usual whenever i encounter these anxiety attacks.

Steadying my breathing, i tried so hard to calm myself down. Praying that the attacks will slowly go away.

'Jimin has won the battle between his demons. Why haven't you?'

'......because you're weak.'

My head began replaying those dreadful voices again. Over and over. Hearing my own voice putting me down.

I couldn't take it anymore.

Almost reaching into Jimin's neighbourhood, i stopped somewhere far and isolated. Parked it at the side of the road for a while before coming out of the car.

Searching for the nearest old tree, i stormed towards it.

This will stop the shaking, i thought as i proceeded in planting the biggest massive punch i have ever let out in months into the tree. Repeatedly.
Ignoring the sharp throbbing pain that shot through my arms and shoulders, i continued  punching.

I love her.

I love (y/n).

But i can't ask her hand in marriage.

I can't.....and i will never, if that is what she wanted.

I'm not ready. Either that...or i just never let myself believe in the silly concept of marriage. Ever.

"WWWAAAEEEE.......!?!?!!!!!"

Planting another few ones into the tree. Causing some of the thick old outer layer of it to flake away after each powerful punch.

I love you. Truly.

Marriage? Is that what you really wanted?
Surely if all of this is coming from Jimin and with him understanding you more better than me, i bet that is it what you have always wanted in your life, (y/n).

But i can't....

I can't be your husband.

I am not worthy.

I don't even believe in marriage. How was i supposed to make you happy as my wife?

I'm sorry, (y/n).

Not even stopping to take a quick breather, i continued punching. Relentlessly punishing myself.
Despite the stench of blood that began filling up the air as the stickiness of it began dripping down, i just kept on punching. Punching. Non stop. It felt like it took forever but i didn't mind. I need the release. I knew it was stupid. But this was my way of unleashing it.

Not even stopping, my visions soon began
to become a blur and my head started to throb so hard from the lack of oxygen.

And finally.... i stopped. Just finally.

Stopped not only because i was physically tired, but emotionally.... i was completely drained.

Slightly bending forward, i walked like a zombie towards the car. Letting myself fall back into the driver's seat. Pulling the heavy door closed then reluctantly and slowly drove away.

Feeling the sheer emptiness that conquered me thorough the quick drive, i finally reached Jimin's home. Parked the car in front of the house, locked it and proceeded towards the house.

Letting myself in, the first place i went in the house was the kitchen to wash off the blood.
Cringing, i let out a painful groan as the water run down the wound.
My hands shook again but this time, it came from the aftermath pain.
Remembering where Jimin stored the first aid, i quickly went towards one of the cupboards and pull it out.

Assisting to my own self-inflicted injury, i dab some ointment all over the affected area and proceeded with wrapping my knuckles.
Cringing one last time as i adjust my hands through the bandage, I head towards the guest room. Where i had place my and (y/n)'s luggages.

"Where is it...?" I asked myself as i dug my hands into my bag.
Searching for it.
Searching for the ring.

Feeling that familiar solid velvety surface under my fingers, i quickly pulled it out. Causing some of my stuff to flow out along the way.

Presenting the tiny gift in front of my face, my eyes shone as i look at it. Flipping it open to check the contents.

Just as bright as the first time i see it.
Clutching tightly to it, i hurriedly got out of the house.