I Don't Love You

Chapter Seventeen

I Don't Love You

Sorry for any spelling/grammar issues!

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

3 Weeks Later

Christa's POV

I sat in at a small two-person table at Starbucks, waiting for Ray to arrive. It's been three whole weeks since I told Ray I'm pregnant. I haven't seen him since then. I only know to meet him here today because Alicia arranged it. She didn't tell me how he is, she just called me and told me to meet him here today at 3:00. I glanced at my watch for the umpteenth time. The small screen read 3:06. He should be here any minute.

I jumped up when I saw Ray walk through the door, nearly spilling my steaming coffee all over my lap. He walked slowly towards me, his face expressionless. I suddenly felt very nervous and self concious, the butterflies building in my stomach. "Hey" I whispered, trying to meet his eyes. He finally looked at me. He just nodded in acknowledgement. He sat down in front of me. "So." He said quietly. I didn't say anything. "How do you know the baby is mine?" he asked softly. "Because I was never with anyone since we got together. I did a lot of stupid shit, but I was never unfaithful" I told him, trying to sound brave and sure of myself. He just nodded again.

"I want full custody of the baby" he said after a long silence. What? Full custody? "Are you sure you can handle..." I trailed off my sentence. "Christa." He looked me sharp in the eyes. "This baby is my purpose. I'm going to be a father, and I'm going to do it on my own, without you around." "Well..." "What have you got in life Christa? How will you support a baby? I have money in the bank from the band. I'll stop touring and be a full time father. You have no job. I know for a fact that you don't have enough money to rent an apartment, let alone own a house big enough for you to raise a child in." His words stung, but they were true. What kind of mother would I be? "Your right" I finally whispered. "I know I am. I want it in writing" he said, his tone unforgiving.

"Ray... You do know that I do have feelings for you right? That I see that now? It wasn't all just a big show so that you'd help me or take me back once you knew I was pregnant. I really do love you." "Yeah Christa, well I don't love you." He stood up and walked out the door, without looking back.

Ray's POV

"Yeah Christa, well I don't love you" I told her, my voice harsh. With that, I stood up and walked out the door. I never once looked back.

Maybe I should have felt something inside, some sort of hurt, or even a weight being lifted off my shoulders. But all I felt was purposeful. I'm going to be a daddy. Maybe not with a loving wife there to support me, but I have Mikey and Alicia, Frank and Jamia, Gerard and LynZ, and their kids there to support me no matter what. And I know that they'll never give up on me. They've proved that thus far. Maybe it's not the life I imagined having when I was a little kid, but it is the way it is and I'm going to enjoy every second of it from here on out.

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Hey guys! So... Ray hasn't died. No matter what happens, Ray doesn't seem to die ;) I think I'm a little to into these characters. I've grown to love them. I don't think I could kill them even if I wanted to. Oh well.... x)

For hollyiero <33 ~Just incase the dedication doesn't show up~

Thanks for reading!

-Cass

P.S. I need to vent for a moment, before I explode.

If they think I will live my life like this, each and every day, full of anger and fear and pain, than they don't know just how wrong they are. They don't know that I will stand up, walk out that door, and never look back. Just like Ray. These books are my therapy. I don't care about views or fans or votes, (although some of the amazing comments [especially from thisismyblackparade and hollyiero!] make my day, and fans make me feel like I'm not alone) This is to help me feel complete again. And you know what? I think it's working. So thank you guys, for making me feel loved and wanted and feel special again. It means more than you will ever understand. Keep it ugly <3