Being Josh Ramsay's Daughter

Never

The nurse came back in.

"So now that we have you both together, can I tell you both the severity of Acadia's injuries?" She started, as she shut the door and came to the foot of my bed.

I blinked once.

"Alright." Dad said.

He didn't want to know. I could tell he didn't. Frankly, neither did I. But, we had to find out eventually.

"Okay, so since she was in a coma for 4 months, she might have some memory loss."

Dad looked at me, frowning.

I'm pretty sure I didn't lose any of my memories.

"Is there any memory loss you're aware of at the moment Acadia?" She asked, looking at my eyes.

I blinked twice.

"Okay, well that's good. She said no." She said, informing my Dad of my response.

My blinks were met with confusion from him.

"Her jaw is unaligned. That is why we are not letting her talk right now. We have a wire attached that is working to realign it. She will be able to take it off in three weeks."

"And her jaw will be back to normal then?" Dad asked.

"She did lose one of her front teeth and one molar. Since they were adult teeth, they won't grow back. But, other than that, yes it will be back to the way it was."

Two teeth, gone. How wonderful, I could only imagine what people would day to me when they noticed that. A tear fell from my eye, but I didn't let anymore. Everything has been so emotional. But I'm tired of crying.

"I'm so sorry Cadi." He said, meeting my eyes.

"Her left arm seems to be fully functioning. But, her right arm seems to be a little slow. We think she should have it back to its original function in three weeks as well. He spinal cord has some fractures and sitting up is hard for her. This should heal."

She paused. She looked between me and Josh and watched as we processed the information she had just told us. She looked back down at her clipboard and hesitated before continuing. Great, now we're getting into the 'even worse news of the bad news' section.

"She is currently paralyzed from the waist down. We are unsure if she will ever gain feeling back in this area..." She paused again.

I definitely did not want to know what she had to say next. I could tell by the way she looked up at me and quickly shot her eyes back down at the clipboard. Once they were looking at the clipboard, they stayed there. She couldn't bring herself to looking back up.

"Acadia will never be able to walk again." She exhaled the breath that not even she knew she was holding.

The news hit me like a brick in the chest. I couldn't handle it. I needed to walk. Everyone needs to walk. Walking is such an important part in life. I know I was trying to hold in tears, but they came flowing down my cheeks. I couldn't take it.

My whole world started crumbling around me ever since I decided to meet my mother. I wish I could go back to the day that Dad started telling me about her. I would go back to that day and make myself walk away. I wish I never knew anything about her.

"Never?" Dad asked.

He was crying too.

"Well, she has a 0.3% chance. We've never seen anyone walk with a percent like that. So technically we say never but never isn't true. Just essentially never."

She was a bit of a nervous babbler.

"Never." He said the word again.

He continued to cry. He squeezed my hand.

"I'm sorry Cadi. This is all my fault." He said, through tears.

I wanted him to stop feeling that way. It's my fault not his. Three weeks. Three weeks til I could talk. Then I can tell him it's not his fault. I'll explain it all then.

"Never walk again. All because of me." He spoke groggily.

He wasn't fully there anymore. He was lost in thought.

I stopped crying. I thought on the bright side. Yeah, maybe I'll never be able to walk again. And yeah, I lost my best friend. But at least I'm alive. I'm lucky to be alive. And I'm lucky to have the father I do. I'm lucky he's alive. He was stabbed because of me and I'm lucky he's alive.