Sound Of Madness (a Ronnie Radke fanfiction) •EDITING**

an enemy for a friend

jess has explained a lot and apologized we are actually friends now, pretty close. I haven't touched the razorblades in over 100 days nor the pills. school is out it almost a week, but my eating has gotten no better.

everybody except jess and Jacky cleared from our table, when the bell for next hour rang we stayed there.

" reya we know that you haven't eaten."

"what are you talking about? I have to eaten!"

"why don't you eat lunch?"

"or the food that you walk out of the door with? I watch you throw it away everyday, don't try to lie about it" Jacky said

I didn't answer either of them I just sat there and stared down at the food I don't want to eat.

I struggled to take a bite but then took another one slowly and another one, cringing at the nasty taste and texture in my mouth. I'm used to just drinking water all day. I finished the meal slowly then ran out of the cafeteria and to my 7th hour class Mr. Birch.

when the last bell of the day rang, saying that school is over I put my school stuff in my locker and ran out the nearest door. I ran home, feeling very nauseous. I ended up puking what little I had in my stomach on the ground. luckily I walked home alone so no one saw me.

once I got home I ran through the door and up to my room without saying a word to anyone.

I grabbed my guitar and walked back out the door to the park.

i sat down on the bench and sang the most anger and hate filled song that i've ever sang. I didn't write it I just sang the sentences that quickly came to my mind. the lyrics probably don't even make sense.

 clean lines filled with dirt                                                                                                                            act like I was never hurt

close your eyes

I can show you how I run

I can fall and watch you rise way above.

let the problems fade away with the taste of a pill. I hate myself till I get my fill .

the empty feeling I must match my mind and body with. the empty feeling I stand alone with.

don't let me fall, I can see the signs you should too, don't let me fall, I've tried but ill end up blaming it on you. I'm not my fault I'm yours too.

you watched me bleed when I screamed for help. you heard me cry in the middle of the night, crying out for help. you watched me fall. let it all drain out.

walking backwards to fix it I cant see you now following in my footsteps, you shouldn't.

i cry my self to sleep wondering how.

how you rose above,

how

you can still speak,

how you can go through the day and still have your head above your feet.

I fall, I cry, I drench the problems with hate filled blood and taste the pills to numb them from these so un-dramatic problems.

when the others don't notice anymore I've fallen and I cant get back up."

I saw Ronnie out of the corner of my eye. "what the fuck do you want?" I muttered.

"what did you say?"

"what. the FUCK do YOU WANT?"

"hateful, hate filled song about your self nice one. what is your problem?"

"everything"

"really? everything is your problem? not just one or two things pissed you off?"

"I am mad at everything if you cant tell, the past the present, what wont happen that needs to in the future"

"what do you mean?"

"some things that need to be fixed wont be for a long, long time"

"if you don't try to fix them they wont"

"I am trying, just failing"

"you need coffee"

"what? no I don't"

"Starbucks makes everybody happy"

" so does laughing gas. I don't want coffee"

"fun sucker"

"sun fucker"

''hey!"

"cool story bro"

"get up"

"why"

"were going home"

"fine" I said frowning and putting my guitar around my back.