Sound Of Madness (a Ronnie Radke fanfiction) •EDITING**

not you too

"reya?" Jacky asked me

"hmm?"

" are you okay?" I nodded my head. he sighed and got up off the floor, pulling me up with him.

I looked up at him then at the window, staring out at the moonlit star filled sky. he hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

"I know you're not" he said. I sighed and walked over to the window and opened it. I climbed out onto the roof then lay down and stare up at the sky, it's peaceful. looking at the stars always is peaceful, everything up there is always perfect.

Jacky climbed up and sat down next to me.

"I'm just depressed for no fucking reason, the world is fucked up but the stars are always perfect"

"yah, it always seems to be the things we cant have are the perfect part of the world" I nodded my head and sighed.

"no matter what I do I cant seem to stop the cutting or be able to keep the food in my stomach. I promised you and Ronnie that I would stop and I cant. I keep breaking my promises"

"everybody has their flaws reya, I even have a dark secret that nobody knows"

''what is it?"

"I still do take that lighter to my skin once in a while. when I don't do that I still take showers in water that to anybody else would be scorching, even I think it is but I have to do it."

" I run my wrists under the faucet in the kitchen till they are numb" Jacky sighed

I nodded my head, sat up and pulled my knees to my chest. and put my head on my knees. Jacky wrapped his arm around me and we looked out over the neighborhood.

"will we ever be okay? everyone has the issues that control there lives. I'm just tired of it all. I'm sorry but I don't I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be anywhere" I got up and went over to the window and climbed back in. Jacky climbed in after me. I walked to the door, down the stairs out the front door and kept walking down the street with Jacky by my side.

I kept walking till I got to the bridge. I sat down and et the cool air hit my skin. "I want to jump" I said and stood up and looked out over the river. I can see the city lights, hear the cars rushing past behind me, smell the signature California air pollution and feel the cool air sting my skin as the wind blows around. Jacky stood up too.

"NO! you aren't going to jump , I-I wont let you reya I cant let you! everyone would miss you don't even start to think they wont! I would miss you, Ronnie would miss you, think about willow and everyone else!"  "how did you feel when Andie killed herself? I saw you at the cemetery, you were screaming at her! I would be doing the same thing so would Ronnie and its not just Ronnie and I that care about you"

I fell down onto the ground and just cried. he is right about all of it.

I wiped off my face , stood up and ran home.

I fell down on the couch and sleep immediately took over.