Sound Of Madness (a Ronnie Radke fanfiction) •EDITING**

if we can't die let's runaway

I ran out the front door and over to Jacky's house. I jumped the fence and got in through the back door. I ran down the hall to Jacky's room. the door was locked.

I ran my fingers across the top of the door frame and felt the key. I grabbed it and unlocked the door. I saw Jacky sitting on the floor staring at the knife and pill bottle in his hands. Jacky didn't even look up at me but I saw a tear roll down his cheek.

He brought the knife up to his neck and stared at me with the saddest smile I have ever seen. I got as close to him as I could and tried to take the knife out f his hand but his grip was too tight.

"let go of the knife Jacky, I let Andie go I cant let you go too. I wont. now give me the knife"

he looked at me with the sad and now tear filled eyes that I saw earlier. I sighed and more tears fell from my eyes. I hugged Jacky and kissed his cheek. Jacky loosened his grip on the knife, I pulled it out of his hand and threw it into the wall.



he layed his head on my shoulder and dropped the bottle of pills. I could feel tears running down my arm.

"why were you trying to kill yourself?"

"I want out"

"of what?"

"the world"

"well you wont let me kill myself, I'm not going to let you kill yourself and that is a promise" he nodded his head.

"I know " Jacky said and lifted his head off my shoulder and stared out the window.

"you left your front door open"

I looked up and out the window.

"of course I did" I laughed a little.

"why was max green there and what did you do earlier? I saw you put something in your mouth then slam your dresser shut and look at Ronnie"

"why max was there I have no clue but I took the last two pills I had"

he sighed and I looked at him , he looked at me.

"we are two very messed up people"

"we are each others messed up best friend"

"yes, yes we are"

"what do you think I would have done without you?"

"gone about three hours then kill yourself too"

"what would you do if I had killed my self?"

"scream at the sky then jump off the bridge"

"the only reason we cant kill ourselves is a lifetime of mystery and sadness, and being labeled selfish."

"if we go with each other at the same time I wonder what would happen, if we want to go but don't want to die really then we should leave. like runaway"

"that isn't actually a bad idea"

"I know its 'cause I'm smart''

he kissed me and hugged me. I kissed him. Jacky layed down on the floor and look up at the ceiling fan spinning. I lay down and put my head on his chest. he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him. i just lay on him and stare at the knife in the wall.

"hey rey?"

"hmm?" i looked up at his face.

"do you actually want to runaway?"

i nodded my head.

"tomorrow?" he asked me while looking up at the ceiling.

"why not"

"i see no reason so, tomorrow put all the things you really need or really want in your backpack and we will go to school and not come back, we have to go to school so nobody will suspect anything. dont worry about anything anymore"

" I like that but what will happen?"

"we keep walking until it's to dark"

"okay"

"rey?"

"what?"

" l love you"

"l love you too" i said with a smile.

Jacky and I fell asleep like that, laying on the floor with me on top of him and his arms wrapped around me.

(dream)

"reyalyn get your worthless ass down here now!"

"what mommy?" my five year old version asked.

"don't call me that!''

"mommy?"

"I said don't call me that you piece of shit! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!"

"how?"

"YOU WERE BORN!"

"I  wish I wasn't, you aren't a nice mommy"

"GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE! AFTER ALL I HAVE DONE FOR YOU, YOU SAY I'M NOT A GOOD MOTHER?!"

"where am I supposed to go mommy?"

"HELL, YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

"only bad people that die go to hell, you're bad mommy you're going to hell!"

"what did you say to me?" she said taking a step closer with every venom filled word.

"you're going to hell mommy" she snapped. she picked me up by my shirt and carried me out to the pool. she threw me in the pool and jumped in after me. she held me down under the water until the neighbor yelled at her.

(end of dream)

"shhh...it's okay" Jacky was sitting up and holding me, trying to calm me down. I had tears running down my cheeks full on crying and was trying to get out of Jacky's arms.

"Rey, it's okay...shhh" Jacky kissed the top of my head and I stopped fighting his arms and relaxed with tears still falling and dripping off my chin.  Jacky lay back down and held me close to him.

"what is going on in here?" Mrs. Greens voice filled the room and the lights flashed on.

"what is she doing here Jackson?" Mrs. Green crossed her arms over her chest.

she sighed "never mind that I guess, get ready for school."

I looked up at Jacky and he nodded. I stood up and slid past Jacky's mom and out the front door.

I crossed the street, ran up the lawn and as quietly as possible opened the front door. I closed my eyes and slowly opened them. Ronnie was suddenly in front of me.

"where the hell were you?!"

"Jacky" I said one word and tried to go around him to the stairs.

"No, why were you with Jacky?" Ronnie said and turned around.

"last night I saw him with a knife in his hand Ronnie, HE WAS TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF IS THAT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR YOU?!" I yelled at Ronnie and stomped up the stairs and into my room.

I packed my most important things and went to my box, of cash roughly two grand. (no need to go into detail about how I got the money.)

I changed my clothes and slid on my good shoes, I brushed my teeth, and put on a jacket and a beanie. I grabbed my bag and went down stairs. I ate breakfast and walked out the door. I ran over to Jacky and we started the walk to school. this will be the best school day ever.

we slowly made are way through the school and were late to first hour, 15 minutes late. we were devising a plan, and kissing but mostly devising a plan.

"Mr. Green, Ms. Radke, how nice of you to join us! do you have passes?"

"no" we both mumbled.

"one hours detention to be served by tomorrow or it will be doubled"

we both muttered "kind" words under our breath and sat down in our seats.

we made it to lunch and I gladly ate the last real meal I will eat for a while. Jacky smiled at me.

"what ?"

"you're eating the food and I loooovvve you!"

'I loooovvve you tooo, do you have any money? I want a cookie"

"to Narnia cookie monster!"

"yaaay!" we stood up and he put his arm around my waist. we walked to the kiosk and got cookies, we ate them while walking back to class.

"are we going to stay the rest of the day then leave?"

"yes that will raise less suspicion"

"okaaaay" I whined.

we left our last hour classroom and went to our lockers. I unlocked mine and pulled out my bag, Jacky pulled out his and we walked out of the wretched building and onto the paved trail hand in hand.