Sound Of Madness (a Ronnie Radke fanfiction) •EDITING**

4 years of pages gone

"good bye Jacky" I said with tears trying to pour out of my eyes. he has to leave for now, doing exactly what happened when I was five, being taken to that horrible place that I was once subject to.

"don't let that shit hole kick your ass"

"I wont you've told me what goes on"

"bye-bye jack-o-lantern"

"bye-bye Rey-o-sunshine"

the lady pulled him out of the house with his bag hanging off his shoulder. I waved then slowly walked up stairs.

I put my iPod on the iHome and turned it up as high as it goes "Stella" by all time low blasted from the speakers. I sat alone in my thoughts, occasionally writing something that only made sense to me in my notebook.

I opened the curtains and let the overcast light in. "if these sheets were the states" by all time played, almost silenced by the words filling my mind.

I got my sketchbook out of my desk drawer. I looked through all the drawings and poems (I know poems in a sketchbook ) the pictures. of our journey and of me and Jacky of trees, flowers, leafs basically anything I've seen is in here. I have had this same book since I was 10. I see the extravagant drawings describing the life I was living. I remember the many long days filled with crying, screaming and hurtful words. I would draw things and sing and play my guitar, but worst of all scream, cut and take mind numbing pills.

(next day, just to be clear)

"reya lunch!"

Ronnie yelled up the stairs. I turned the volume down on my iPod and carried my sketchbook with me down to the kitchen. I sat at the table and picked at the macaroni and thought about Jacky.

"eat it, stop picking at it" crissy said I looked up then back down at the bowl.

I picked up a piece and brought the fork to my mouth and ate the noodle. my sketchbook slid out of under my arm and Ronnie opened it and started looking through the book before I could stop him. Ronnie looked at every single one and payed close attention to my odd sense of art, I use realistic art, almost abstract but "real world" concepts at the same time.

(sorry if this is getting confusing, I am kind of extreme when it comes to the way reya thinks!)

"give. it .back"

"you are a good artist but what are all of these?"

"mine" I snapped.

"duh." he closed the book and slid it across the table. I grabbed it and sat on it. Ronnie rolled his eyes at my response.

"I don't like people looking at my art or lyrics"

"why?"

"because I don't like peoples reactions or being complemented"

"that is odd"

"you're odd"

"I know you are but what am I?"

"a childish response to a teenager, a whiny five year old"

"I-ehh nnn-neveveeerrmiiindA!"

"exactly"

"shut-up..."I heard him mutter.

I walked up the stairs to my bathroom and got my bright blue hair dye out of under the sink. I started on my previously bleached ends with the teal dye with my gloved hands. I got the dye in all parts that I wanted it after an hour of working on it. I waited fifteen minutes and leaned over the edge of the bathtub and washed my hair.

after being washed and smelling like blue raspberry candy, I twisted lots of random chunks of hair. once they are dry my hair will have awesome curls in it that are not achievable with a curling iron.

I looked at my hair one last time and grabbed my guitar and went down stairs.

"Ronnie can I go to the park?"

"no"

"why not?"

"because you are grounded"

"why?"

"you ran away, I don't care about what you were doing you still ran away"

"but-"

"nothing"

"not fair" I said as quietly as possible and stomped back upstairs to my room.

I sat in my trampoline chair and played/sang "don't you dare forget the sun" by get scared as loud as l possibly could.

"reya! stop being so loud" Ronnie opened the door long enough to say that.

l mumbled various cuss words while I put my guitar down and leaned it against the wall.

"no matter what is going on, I seem to make every situation my own kind of terrible"

"i make everything worse"