Sound Of Madness (a Ronnie Radke fanfiction) •EDITING**

back to reality

I opened my eyes to a blinding white room. I shut my eyes quickly then opened them again. l turn my head to the left. Ronnie is asleep in the chair right next to the bed, Jacky is in the chair by the sink looking at his phone and has his bright red headphones playing loud enough that I know he's listening to wretched and divine by black veil brides.

 l pulled the pillow from behind my head and threw it at him.

"what the f- REYA!!!" I smiled as he bolted out of the chair, ran over to me and quickly hugged me. with all the noise Ronnie woke up and saw me.

"oh my god reya are you okay?! what did you even do?!" he asked quickly.

"I fell"

"well don't fall" Jacky said.

"I don't try but I'll try not to"

the nurse walked into the room and asked Jacky and Ronnie to leave.

"why do they have to leave?" I asked, my smile quickly fading.

"because someone has to talk to you and the staff thought I am the least scary"

"talk to me about what?" l went as pale as the sheets.

"is everything going well? at home? at school?"

"yes, why do you ask?"

"the nurse who was changing you into the gown noticed the scars on your legs and cuts on your arms"

tears came to my eyes without notice and I stayed silent, currently paler than white paint.

"you cant hide it sweetie, why are you doing this?"

"I'm not" I blurted out.

"then how did they get there?"

"not in two weeks"

"it is still a serious issue"

"I know" I said, staring at the wall in front of me.

"cuts can get infected and it is an addiction"

"I'm aware, l hadn't done it for 124 days until then, two weeks ago.

"why did you do it then?"

"too much built up rage and sadness"

"would you like to tell your father or should l?"

"he already knows that I had the problem but I would like to tell him, let Jacky back in too. he was the one that saw them in the first place, he's fine."

"okay just a moment"

"thank you" l said letting the tears silently roll off my cheeks and fall onto my hands.

the door opened and Jacky sat down. Ronnie walked over to the bed.

"I need a piece of paper, a pen and my iPod and headphones"

"your iPod is cracked but here" Jacky said and put it and his sketch book and a pen in my hand. I put my headphones in and played the song "the light behind your eyes" by MCR. I opened the book, found a clean page and started writing.

"one night before we left for this tour all the past emotions and problems I never dealt with or spoke about flooded back and slapped me in the face. l nothing was helping at the time and I needed to let all of that shit go, cut that thin thread that was holding on.

at 3 am I walked out the back door and walked down to the bridge just sat on the edge and looked over the river. the moon lit the ground and reflected of the water. I sat there and tried to let all of the anger and rage drip away with the tears that were falling off my face. I would be lying if I sad I wasn't thinking about jumping off that bridge.