The Love Between Us *COMPLETED*

Part 15

Quick A/N: Play this song on loop until the end!^^

Roy's Point of View

I head into the bathroom and grab Shane and I toss him over my shoulder and bring him back out to the bedroom. I put him on the bed and stand in front of him. "Look, okay! I know that you probably are pissed at me and you have every right to be. But if you could just hear me out please I would greatly appreciate it!" I say. "Continue!" He says. "Shane, I sat in here going over what I would say over and over again, but now I don't even know what to say! I just can't even bring myself to even say anything because it just makes me.....I just don't....*gets misty eyed**Shane notices and immediately stands up and embraces him* I just fuck up so much that it really makes me feel....I bully everybody else about their relationship, but I can't even control mine! It's so fucking pathetic, and I..... I...*breaks down crying* I feel like I'm fucking suffocating and I can't breathe! I try to hold myself together but I'm only human and I can only hold so much in before I break, and I just can't take it anymore! You don't think I hurt inside every time I hurt somebody else, that it doesn't kill me every time I fucking hurt you? Every time I've done so much that you don't even want to say anything to me? Because I do! It hurts! It hurts like hell Shane! I wish that I could take back everything that I've ever done to hurt you, to hurt anyone else, I just want to take it all back! To forget! I want to wake up in the morning and feel guilt free! I want to be here for you! I want to be better, but it's like every time I try to I always do something to make matters worse! And I know that a person only gets so many chances and I'm scared! I'm so fucking scared of losing you! Because you're the only one who makes me want to change and it makes no sense! You look at me and see beauty, but the only thing that I ever see whenever I look at me, is disgust, and it makes me sick! It makes me sick to my stomach Shane! I see this horrible person, terrible friend, wretched lover! I hate myself! I hate my body! I hate evrything about myself! I can't do anything right! And I hate myself for that! Because every time I get a negative comment thrown at me it hurts even more! Because I know it's true! It makes me want to die! And I die inside every time it happens but I just put on a brave face and pretend that I don't know that another person hates me just as much as I hate me! I just wish that I could die and then everybody would be happy because who's going to miss me? Nobody at all! Nobody will the bitch who ruins everything, including my own self! My life! My chances! And I just can't sit back and ignore the fact that I'm a worthless piece of shit! I'm worthless, I've always been worthless, and I'll always be worthless! But no, you sit around and act like I'm not worthless! It's not because you believe I'm not worthless, it's because you pity me! You think I'm just as pathetic as I do! And it tears me in half from the inside out every time I have to play somebody else's pity toy! Because I don't need anybody's pity! I don't need anybody else who thinks of me as a fucking charity fucking case! I don't need anybody to see me vulnerable because that just means that they pity me more! Means that you just pity me more! And I'm a fool! I'm a moron! I'm an idiot! An idiot for thinking that somebody really did see something special in me! An idiot for falling for you! And an even bigger idiot for thinking you meant it when you said that you loved me! Nobody loves me! Not even Jesus Christ because everybody knows that he hates the gay's! Because it's not how he made us! I can't even be the proper creation! I do everything wrong! I fail at everything! And most of all I suck at life! I wish I would just die already! And here I was about to do the stupidest thing I could imagine! Here I was about to give myself to you! Because why not? I won't find anyone else who "loves" me! And I can't believe I actually almost believed you! Believed what you told me! Believed how you supposedly felt about me! Wow! Why was I even put on this Earth? Why are you even here? Because you don't love me! You don't care about me! You don't care about what happens to me either! Are you just here just for decoration? Or am I the one here for just decoration? Nobody loves me! I can't even love myself! Who else is going to love me? Nobody can love me! Not even you! Because you're just a big liar! A con artist! Good at deceiving people! Good at deceiving people into thinking that they mean something! That they mean something to you! But it's all just a big ass mother fucking load of crap! You're a bitch! You're just a big ass mother fucking bitch! You're a bitch! I'm a bitch! That's about all we have in common! I'm the prey! I'm the prey and you're the predator! You're here to hurt me! To woo me into thinking that everything's fine! Then you'll sneak attack me when I least expect it! Isn't that your goal! Your main goal! What keeps you going! Or is what keeps you going the fact that you know that you can deceive others with your "love"? Is that it?"