Unexplainable (PTV fanfiction)

One Hundred Sleepless Nights

Alex POV

"I love you and I don't think I can fall out of love when I know you exist" he says while getting closer to me. Vic was standing close to me, there was no space between us. He leans in to kiss me and I froze. When I realize that I was kissing him back, I pulled away.

"You're making this hard" I whisper to him while looking at his eyes. "Don't follow me" I said as I walk away from him. I tried so hard not to turn back and kiss him. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing but I just want to be alone.

That memory kept replaying over and over in my head. I was in my bed like I was for the past weeks. I still went to work and came home, went to my dark room where I cried for hours. I barely had any sleep since that day because I stayed up thinking about Vic and what he did. It's funny how someone can really fuck you up but can still make you feel special. Last night, I slept for a night but I got nightmares about losing Vic. I'm eating myself alive. Why did I ever fall in love? It would be easier if all my emotions went away so I don't have to cry a lot and feel this way.

I grabbed my necklace the new one that Melody gave me and I held on to it tight. I don't even know why I still have the bracelet that Vic gave me. I didn't want to take it off because taking it off is like throwing our relationship out the trash. I looked at the V and watched it rotate. I couldn't cry anymore. Ever since Vic and I had the break or whatever you want to call it, Tony or Mike would try to get us to see each other again.

I wonder how Vic is doing. I just want to see him but I don't know if I can. I continue to stare at the ceiling imaging how things should have gone but I guess you can't control everything. I heard a knock on my bedroom door and I turn my head where I can see who it was.

"Are you feeling any better?" Tony asks as he sits on the edge of my bed.

"I don't know" I honestly said.

"Let's do something fun, just me and you" Tony says with a smile and I couldn't help but give him a small smile.

"I'm not in the mood" I said sitting up and hugging my legs.

"You haven't been out in weeks" Tony says trying to persuade me.

"Yeah I have, I went out-"

"Work doesn't count" he interrupts me.

"How am I supposed to go outside while feeling like this?" I asked him. Tony hugs me and I just rested my head on his shoulder.

"Let's do something fun" he says smiling.

"I'm not in the mood" I said once again. "I'm glad you stop by but I think you should go" I grabbed him and lead them out the door.

"No, I'm not going" Tony says fighting back. "I'm tired of seeing you and Vic looking miserable and depress. I know you're mad at him and I know what he did was so fucking stupid but you could have at least came to pick us up from the airport" he yells.

"You're mad because I didn't pick you up from the airport" I questioned him.

"Yes and not only that you couldn't stop-" he stops speaking after that.

"You're mad at me for not stopping what?" I questioned.

"Forget it" he walks away.

"No, no you need to tell me why you're mad at me" I said grabbing him.

"I'm not mad at you but that I wasn't the first one to know about Blade" he says with his head down.

"Did you want me to stop and think about who to call first which would cause Blade to run out of time?"