Divergent?

Chapter Eleven (Beatrice)

'Ugghhh. That was so boring!' Alexa groans as she flops backwards onto her bed and closes her eyes tiredly. Behind the door was a classroom. Four really should've told us beforehand, instead of being all mysterious and keeping it from us. The room was like all other classrooms in Abnegation- small and cramped. Rows of wooden desks with chairs tucked beneath them face a blackboard at the front of the room, and four cupboards line one wall. During the two hours we were in the classroom, we had to learn the Abnegation faction manifeso then recite it from memory. I already knew it, as I'd done this sort of thing before at school, but I still had to participate this time. Two hours- I know It's a long time to spend reading the same words over and over again, but Alexa's comment still grates on me.

'Alexa, why are you in Abnegation?' I ask her flatly and she turns to stare at me.

'Umm, why do you think?........Because I want to be!' she replies incredulously, as if I'm stupid. I suddenly feel arush of anger coursing through me, and I begin to shout at Alexa.

'Look, Alexa! You've transfered to Abnegation- although I'm not sure why, because from the minute you arrived here, you have only said bad things about my faction. Why would you come here, if you hate the way we act so much? Why, if you're only going to disrespect our ways?' I wait for Alexa to respond, angry breaths rattling in my throat. Then, after about a minute of tense silence, she does.

'I'm not sure I want to tell you why I transfered. Maybe it's just none of your business!.... You know, in Abnegation you're not supposed to be nosy. So just keep yourself out of things, Beatrice. I do want to be here, I love Abnegation, and it's my faction as well as yours now.' As Alexa speaks, tears well up in her eyes, but her voice remains steady and quiet. I feel embarassed about her comment about me being nosy, but don't show it.

'I honestly do love being in Abnegation' Alexa finishes then storms out of the room. I'm no Candor, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't the whole truth. I brush my hand across my cheeks to stop the hot, wet tears from sliding any further down them. Feeling peoples' eyes on me, I look up to see everyone in the room staring at me in disgust but Faith, the Amity transfer.

'Are you OK, Beatrice?' she asks in her calm, soothing voice. I nod, but both her and I know that I'm not as I bury my face into the scratchy fabric of my pillow.

During my whole life, I've never had an arguement like that with someone. It's just not how an Abnegation behaves. And now, that I'm going through initiation, I'm supposed to be learning how to be a true, selfless Abnegation. But I just seem to be getting less, and less selfless every day.