How? How could I have let this happen? I need to control myself. But she's so beautiful I can't seem to be able to. I've never had feelings like these for anyone before. Every time I set eyes on her, I feel myself falling. I'd controlled myself up until just now, but it's like a switch was flipped when I saw her lying in that hosplital bed. To anyone else, I'm sure she would have looked a mess. But to me, she looked perfect. I felt a sudden desperation for physical contact with someone- something I hadn't had in a long time. Beatrice seemed the perfect person to grant my wish.
As I reach out of my bed to switch off the lamp casting an orange glow around the room, my heart twangs as I remember the look on Beatrice's face when I went to... I can't bring myself to even think of it. She looked disgusted. How could I have ever thought she felt the same way?
I feel terrible as I lay my head down on the pillow and close my eyes. I press the heels of my hands hard into my eyes, determined not to cry, even though I already feel the tears welling up and threating to splill out. Why am I feeling like this? Just over some silly girl I don't even know well.
But that's the thing. She's not just 'some silly girl'. I love her. I shouldn't. I need her. I shouldn't. She thinks I'm stupid. Am I for trying something with her? Why on this earth did I try... Anything with her? She sees me as a fool. I saw the look on her face when I left earlier. I'm her initiation instructor. Her superior. She can't view me this way. I'm going to have to stop this. Even though it will probably kill me. I will.
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Divergent?
FanfictionWhat if Tris and Tobias chose Abnegation instead of Dauntless? What if they were never trained to be soldiers for the city? What if no one found out about their Divergence? Everyone inside the city belongs to a faction. Amity- the peaceful. Abnegati...
