Divergent?

Chapter Twenty-Five (Beatrice)

I wake up with a grin plastered across my face and thoughts of Four in my head. I guess I've reached a conclusion. It doesn't matter that he's my instructor. I like him. Now the only doubt in my mind is if he likes me back. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm nothing special, neither physically nor in terms of my personality. I can't exactly change my whole appearance, and Abnegation aren't meant to be focused on that kind of thing either, so I guess my personality will have to make up for where everything else falls short. Which is a lot.

I slowly get up out of bed, the throbbing in my head dulled but still persistent and my arm still out of action, then grab the clothes left by my bedside. As I walk towards the bathroom, something nagging at the back of mind finally clicks into place. Today's Visiting Day. A feeling of dread washes over me and my stomach lurches. I don't know why- I should not be this anxious just to see my parents. My thoughts then wander to Caleb. I haven't been thinking about him much recently, and that makes me disappointed in myself. I'm sure he's settled in just fine at Erudite- all the signs I took as Abnegation tendencies were just Erudite ones in disguise this whole time. But I wonder- will either of my parents go to visit him today? Will they really want to after he abandoned his whole family and childhood? As selfish as it is, I'm not sure I would want to.

I meet Alexa, Yves and Luke down in the cafeteria. The nurse checked me over and said I could return to the dorms tonight, which they and I were all happy to hear. I can't help my eyes from searching the room for Four, but I don't see him anywhere. Nor do I see Uriel. But right now, I can't be focused on that. In a few hours, I will be seeing my parents again. I need to focus on presenting them the best version of myself. And explaining my beat-up appearance and bandaged arm.

Alexa comes and slips into the space next to me. I instantly can tell something's wrong, and I can guess what it is after the chat we had the other day.

'Hey', I nudge her. 'You can spend today with me and my family if you want'. She gives me a grateful full smile but it appears somewhat forced.

'Thanks, Beatrice. I really appreciate it. But I don't want to ruin your day with your family- I'll just spend today alone' she replies. I feel bad for her, but know I shouldn't push her further. Then I hear footsteps entering the cafeteria, so I look up from my plate of stale toast. Four strides in, and the sight of him makes my stomach do little flips and turns. He surveys the room, but his eyes skip over me like I'm invisible. My heart drops, then he begins to speak.

'Alright, initiates, follow me.' It's time.