Broken Charms

Falling Apart In Montreal: Part Four

“I guess that's what saying good-bye is always like--like jumping off an edge. The worst part is making the choice to do it. Once you're in the air, there's nothing you can do but let go.”

― Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall

---Astrid---

“But he promised he would come back to stay with me?” I said frustrated to Daniel. He just shrugged.

“I don’t know, Rhea. It seemed important.”  He simply said.

“Well, maybe he’ll come back. I’ll wait up for him.” I said decisively.

“You should better go to sleep. I’m he’ll come back to say goodbye to you in the morning.” He wasn’t looking at me. He seemed guilty. I wasn’t always that good at reading other people. But Daniel was my cousin and I knew him well enough to know that something had happened and he wasn’t telling me what. Somehow I felt that if I went to sleep if I didn’t wait up for Harry it would be like I was giving up on him. I was going to stay up all night if I had to. He promised that he would return. He wouldn’t break his promise. He wasn’t the type. I loved him. I wasn’t giving up on him.

“No. I’ll stay up till he comes here. I love him. I know he wouldn’t leave me.”

“As you want, Rhea. I have to go. I’ll come by in the morning to escort you to the airport. You are leaving at 10 am.” He said. He kissed my forehead and turned to go.  The sound of his words brought a pain in my heart. I was leaving. I was quitted my job. The job that I loved so dearly and now the tour for me was over. I had to go back. I was about to cry. I hadn’t expected I was going to leave so soon. But I had to. There was no point for me being here anymore. I was useless. What did surprise me though was that I hadn’t told Harry that was leaving. Did he know? Had someone told him? I had except him to put up a fight about me leaving but now he wasn’t even there. Had someone told him and he thought that I was going to break up with him?

“Okay. Could you please pack my suitcase and bring it here in the morning. I don’t think I can do it myself.” I joked. He smiled but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. He nodded and left. I was left alone. No one was there to comfort me. I was alone in my thoughts tormented by my future.

I couldn’t believe that in one night my career as a dancer was over and what I was supposed to do with my life now?  I could do occupy myself with music I always liked singing. Maybe I could do that. but now my life was ruined. There was of course a slight chance that I could dance again but right now everything seemed so ultimate. That part of my life, dancing, seemed to be over. And what was I supposed to do with my life now? I couldn’t just keep on living watching my life go on without a purpose.

Where the hell was Harry? He promised. He wouldn’t break his promise now, would he? He loved me, didn’t he? He was supposed to be here by my side. I wanted to explain everything to him. I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. I wanted to tell him about Elena and her threats. I wanted him here now. But where the hell was he?

---The next morning---

“I’m not leaving until I say goodbye to Harry.” I said. Immobilized in my wheel chair as I was my words weren’t actually the biggest threats in the world.

“Astrid, I don’t think Harry is coming.” Anne said half heartedly.

“What do you mean?” she didn’t reply.  But the tears in her eyes confessed what her mouth couldn’t. He wasn’t going to come because he didn’t want me anymore. He hadn’t come to the hospital because he didn’t love me anymore. What was I to him, only a game to spend his time during the tour and now that I had to go, he didn’t even bothered to come and say goodbye?

 Now I realized what the word hurt really means. It meant having heart pulled out of your chest and handed back to you torn to pieces that you could never reunite. I nodded at her silence. I could feel the sobs climbing up my throat but I didn’t let them escape. Everyone was there to say goodbye to me except Harry. All the boys and the dances had come, even Paul but not Harry. I could let them see me cry. I was stronger than that. After all I had a nine hour flight ahead of me.  I could cry there.

“Just tell him… that… Well, tell him, that I’m sorry and that… oh! Fuck! Tell him that I love him, okay?” I said desperately. Anne nodded. She was standing beside Niall who wasn’t looking at me. Anne was better now. She was going to dance tonight. Elena was going to take my place at ‘Little Things’ and everything was going to work. But I knew what Niall was thinking. Anne could have easily been in my place right now if she danced yesterday. Niall didn’t know if he was supposed to be sad for me or relieved that Anne was alright. I tugged at his arm daring him to look at me.

“Keep her safe for me, will you?” I said.  His eyed were full of guilt. He leaned down and gave me the biggest bear hug I had ever accepted.

“I will, Astrid. I promise. I’m so sorry.” He whispered at my ear.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Just make sure she is happy.” I said as he pulled away from me.

Everyone hugged me after him and said goodbye to me. The last to approach was Liam. He hugged but when he pulled away he stayed at eye level with me and took my hand in both of his. 

“He told me to tell you that he loves you and that you should move on.” He stared right at me and for a second I didn’t say anything to him. I was trying to find the perfect thing to say to him.

“How could I, Liam? You know how it feels right?” he knew because after he broke up with Danni he wasn’t himself. He hadn’t moved on. He understood what I meant and that was why he simply nodded and stayed away.

“Alright, everybody, don’t be sad. I’ll be fine. Have fun and take care.” Those were my final words to them, as Anne led me to the gate where a flight attendant checked my ticket and led inside the aircraft.

She helped me to my seat and made promise that if I needed anything I would tell her right away.

As I sat there and wait for the plane to take me to London, I pulled out my phone. I hadn’t checked it since yesterday. I had a missed call and a voice mail. It was from Harry. The call was dated just before the show started. I had seen him talk to the phone. But why would he called me and leave a voice mail when I was standing only a few feet away from him?

I pressed play and as soon as I heard his voice I started crying. Why? Why, Harry? Why did you leave me?     

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A/N: hey everybody! how are you all doing? i really hope you like my story so far. this is the last chapter of the first part of my story! i'll upload the next part as soon as i'm finished writing it! please vote and comment if you like! See you soon! x