Broken Charms

A Sleeping Golden Storm

“When its gone, you'll know what a gift love was. you'll suffer like this. So go back and fight to keep it.”

― Ian McEwan, Enduring Love

---Harry---

“oh! Fuck!it still hurts.” I groaned inside my teeth.

“come on, Haz! It was your idea. You’re acting like you haven’t gotten a tattoo before.” Louis said sitting beside me.

“yes, but it fucking hurts!” I wined like a little kid. I had been sitting in the same chair for over an hour now and I couldn’t stand it any longer because that was the third I came this month to get a tattoo.  I first did the rose at my elbow which hurt a lot but this was nothing compared to what I was suffering right now. I wanted to do something that signified Astrid so went and got the word ‘Angel’ tattooed over my heart but it felt really simple so I went again. right now I was having a feather beside the word ‘Angel’ tattooed just below my left bird tattoo.

I hadn’t expected to hurt that badly. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I had forgetting how much tattoos hurt at the chest.

I continued to groan and wine out of pain when eventually the tattoo artist stopped torturing me and patched my wounded skin with badge and told me for the I-didn’t –know-how- many-th time the drill of how to take care of it.

I rose from the chair and stretched as Louis helped to put me shirt back on. Once we were finally outside we decided to go for a walk at the centre of Melbourne and have a coffee. It was a beautiful day here and since we were now at the southern hemisphere the weather was warm and shinny.

We were away from home and for the first time in a long time I was finally enjoying being away from home. Away from Astrid and all the drama she brought. After Dublin where Niall and Anne finally made up I wanted to talk to Astrid, to explain to her why I left how I knew what she had done for me and what had caused her when she stopped me it felt the whole idea of apologizing to her was hopeless.

She didn’t want to talk to me, perhaps because she had finally moved one and it was a good idea to do the same. Anne was told me that the last time she spoke to her she was staying with John and I really happy for her.

Well, truthfully I wasn’t but at least I tried to be. I still loved her but the whole pain and guilt of out break up had finally resided and I was now able to just remember what we had without tearing up.

I’d always want her by my side because even before we became a couple she was my friend and I missed her but it wasn’t as bad as it was a month ago. Maybe people were indeed right about the theory that time really healed everything even a broken heart.  I was sure now that time away from me had healed her and now she could move on with her life. She could continue studying at the academy and who knew maybe one day I would get to see her perform live again. I was happy for her. She had moved on and it was time for me to do the same, not that I was planning to. She had changed me, she made me see the world through her eyes and now I couldn’t see any other way. everything around me reminded me of her because I knew how much she wanted to come here and I wanted to show her everything, but now I couldn’t.

“Are you sure about that, mate?” Louis asked gesturing at my new tattoo.

“Yes, I mean, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. Was she really so important to you that you tattooed her name to your heart?”

 “You can’t imagine how much I still love her, Lou. She was my lucky charm for all this time. It was like I owe her my career. When I first met her I believed that I’d never see her again, but last year when we got to work with her I felt like I had this chance to make it right to not let her go again but I messed everything up so yeah, she is so important to me.”