Broken Charms

Can't Let Go: Part Two

“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

― Albert Camus

Astrid

I felt weird having Harry watching me as I worked.  The small bar was working as a bartender and as a dancer seemed filled with smoke even though it wasn’t allowed to smoke inside Red Dawn but who cared?

All the time I was dancing I could feel his eyes at me and that made me feel strange. It wasn’t that I wasn’t used to people staring at me considering the small amount of clothes I was wearing being stared at by random strangers, was part of the job.  But Harry’s gaze was so intense. I was trying to stare at the ceiling and focus on the psychedelic music coming for the speakers, but it wasn’t easy his eyes were on me, making feel naked and breathless.

It wasn’t that I was ashamed or anything. I wasn’t a stripper or anything. The dancers at Red Dawn were just for atmosphere. We stayed clothed. I think I wore less clothing than anyone, but that was because I split my shift between dancing and bartending, and the less clothing, the more tip.

But there was nothing more awkward than making eye contact with someone below. Especially if that someone was Harry. Normally I tried to lose myself in the music and just dance for me. It made the time go by faster. But tonight, my mind was so full of the day’s events that I just couldn’t seem to turn my brain off. I took two shots before my shift started to try to remedy the problem and to make Harry feel comfortable here since he didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want him to feel uneasy, but so far nothing had changed.

I took turns staring at various places on the wall and ceiling to pass the time. I smiled, swished my frilly skirt, and glanced at the front entrance as the door swung open and then closed. I dared to take a glace towards Harry. He kept watching me and only me swiping his drink carefully waiting for my break so he could spend time with me. we still hadn’t discussed what we actually were.  Friends? He said he had come to be by my side since I didn’t have any friends here and Anne was busy attending R.A.D.  I looked at him one more time.  He looked good. Too good. Maybe I hadn’t seen him in a while and I had missed him. I stared as he talked to some of the people around. Only a few people had recognized him and he was sitting with them chatting.  He laughed, and people stopped mid-conversation just to stare, like he was a Celebrity, which he actually was.

 Dark hair tumbled down into his eyes, and he pushed it back. He had the kind of hair that just begged to be touched. He was smiling so big that his teeth were like little pearls in the dark room. He’d always seemed like a pretty smiley guy but only by seeing this smile in comparison did I realize how faked it had all been. He had these perfect dimples that softened the hard line of his jaw, and his eyes crinkled slightly.

He laughed again, and I saw at least three girls maneuver closer to him. One of the braver girls broke off from her friends, and stepped right up to him. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, and it was too dark to read their lips. Not that I even knew how to read lips.

She looked exactly like a model. Blond, perky, and nauseating. The complete opposite of me. In less than a minute, he charmed her the same way he charmed his way to my heart. She was giggling and touching his arm, falling into him, all while curling her hair around her finger. I waited for him to move in for the kill, but he didn’t. They just kept talking and talking. She was clearly giving him the green light, and he was still chatting her up like an old lady in church. Why wasn’t he taking what she was so clearly offering? He was single, since as he had told Elena and he hadn’t dated.

He started talking to one of the few friends I had made while working there ignoring the blonde. She gave the kind of pout that was obnoxious on anyone above the age of five.