Broken Charms

Same Mistakes: Part Three

“No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.”

― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

Astrid                                                                               

I couldn’t stay with Harry another second. I wasn’t ready to address the subject of us while my dad was here, in this freaking hospital. I hated hospitals, everything about them, the smell, the color of the walls, and the atmosphere around me. Everything felt so morbid. I wasn’t ready to hear the result of the biopsy. What if my dad’s cancer was untreatable? What if it was so far deep into his brain that the doctors couldn’t remove it? I hated knowing the possibility that my dad wouldn’t be here with me for another ten or more years to guide me through my mistakes. I wasn’t ready to let him go.

When I found Marian and my mother a doctor was talking to them. I rushed towards them to hear what he was saying.

“… So like I said before this is good news…”

“What is good news?” I interrupted him.

“Oh! Astrid. Glad you could join us. I was just explaining your father’s situation to your mother. Your father has a brain tumor but we believe that according to the size of the tumor that it would be treatable with radiation therapy.”

“So what does that mean?”

“It means that for the next weeks he will undergo a radiation therapy and then we will do a biopsy again and a few more tests to see if the tumor is responding to the treatment.”

“So, he will be alright, right?” I said hopefully.

“Yes, that’s what we hope.” He smiled genially at me.

“Can I see him?”

“Yes, of course your mother had already visited him.” he said.

“Thank you so much.” I said smiling back and headed to my father’s room.

My mother was already sitting beside him with Marian by her side, as I entered the room. I took a seat on the other side of his bed and threaded my fingers through his. As for my mother, I did what I had done the last twelve years of life, ignore her presence at all costs.

“Hey, Daddy!” I said kissing his hand.

“Hey, tinkle! You’ve heard the news?”

“Yes, god! I’m so happy for you!”

“In a year this could all be behind us.” he said mimicking my enthusiasm.

“Let’s hope so.” My mother intertwined. I couldn’t care less about what she thought. I was happy that my dad was okay and I had no intention of hiding it.

After a while my mother left and I was left with my dad to talk. I told him about what happened yesterday and he made all look so hilarious that I laughed so hard. I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed like that.

“So tell me, what’s up with you and that Harry guy?” he asked.

“I don’t know, dad. I wish I knew. Since yesterday I believed that I would never have to see him again and I was so fine with it but now, that he is here, I just don’t know.” I answered him truthfully.

“Maybe you don’t have to know. Maybe it is time to find out if you could be something more.”

“Oh! Dad. We’ve tried and believe when I said that we both get hurt so badly. Our feelings were too much to handle. He still believes that it is his fault that I fell. When I left he didn’t come to say goodbye and that hurt so bad. It felt even worse that knowing that my dancing career was over.”

“It’s not over. You dance at ‘Red Dawn’.”

“Dad, you and I both know that dancing around in practically your underwear it’s not dancing.”

“Oh,well. Maybe you’re right.  Do you miss it?”

“Dancing? Would it hurt you to tell you that I don’t?”

“Astrid, you always tried to make me happy by doing that you were never supposed to be doing and yet, even though you had the leftist feet in the world you manage to dance your way into a worldwide tour and not only as a dancer but as a choreographer as well. I couldn’t be more proud of you. Though I knew all this time that dancing wasn’t your dream but your brother’s.”

“Okay, Mr. Know-it-all. What is my dream?”

“Oh! Tinkle, that’s for you to find out. I just hope that when you do, I’ll be there to see it.” he said squeezing my hand in his. I smiled at him. I had never been more content with my life that I was right then. A nurse came in and brought a trey of food for my dad.

“Okay, dad. I’m going to go now. I’ll come by tomorrow.”

“Okay, tinkle. Tale care.” He said as I leaned in and kissed his forehead.

As I entered the hallway Harry was sitting at the nearby chair and when he saw me his eyes lit up.

“Hey. I’m sorry about earlier.”

“It’s okay. Let’s put the past behind us from now on, Okay?” I said. I wasn’t going to let anything ruin my good mood, not even my hideous love life.

“Okay.”

“So, what are you going to do, today?”  I asked. It was time to show him my city.