smoke I gracy I ✔️

22

"Kill yourself."

"You don't deserve to be here."

"You're not suitable for Zach."

"You'd wish you were never born after this."

"ST-OP STOP S-S-STOP!!" I yell, my words are strangled with my cries. "PLE-ASE PL-PLEASE. Please..."

After a few minutes, I calm down. Every night was like this. Me? Zach's guardian angel? More like Zach's my guidance. I look at my phone. Maybe I should...no. I'm not weak. I can deal with this on my own. I don't need him. I deny the truth. I do need him, but I don't want to show vulnerability. He will leave me because I'm a wimp who wants nothing but attention.

I continue steadily rocking myself back and forth. I shiver. The night air is cold. My toes are like ice cubes. It's so cool that I feel like they're going to snap off. One by one. My legs, arms, and neck are covered with goosebumps. Maybe I'll freeze to death tonight. I do hope so. I shake my head to rid the suicidal thought. I shouldn't be thinking about this. This would make Zach unhappy and he would accuse himself of my misery.

I have a feeling that I'm going crazy. That I will grow up to be mad and absurd. Depression is untamable. I stop rocking myself. I've gained warmth in the past minute, but I'm still quivering furiously.

For possibly the rest of the night, I sit there wide-eyed, trembling, and heavy.

I know this is an extremely short chapter, but I've been working on the last two chapter. And boy, I've got a surprise for you guys.