In These Lyrics

JaegerBombtastic;)

Erens POV

He stared.

And stared.

And stared. Not a single word left his mouth. His light pink lip were parted slightly, probably in a mix of shock and disgust. I looked away, burning with shame in under the heat of his intense, grey, stare.

I couldn't bear it if he started to hate me. I just couldn't. Why the hell did I act on impulse and show him?

Why? I asked myself. The one word reappearing over and over and over again in my head until it lost all meaning. Until the answer hit me.

Because he needed to know. Because I cared about him and his opinions. And I wanted him to know the real me, not some glamoured up version of me designed for the public, but a real, and disgusting truth that I appeared to trust him with.

But obviously I couldn't. The emotions on his face were so strange, I feared the worst. I pulled a hand up from where it had limply lay on the ground to wipe a drying tear from my face.

He frowned.

My hope was wrong. I got up from my spot on the concrete sidewalk, so did he. A whole new volley of tears sprung from my eyes as I realized that I shouldn't have trusted him. That he now was aware of what I did, of who I was, and didn't like it.

"I'm sorry Levi" I said as I turned and ran.

I ran to the building as fast as I could, trying to outrun the sound of Levi yelling my name from where I left him on the sidewalk.

I never looked back.

[][][]

I woke up terrified of what Levi was going to say, to think. So I was hesitant to pull myself off of my comfortable bed and go downstairs where the band and I were going to choose a look for each of them. Of course Levi would be there too, forced by his job to spend a day with a monster.

I got dressed, ate some breakfast... Well at least what satisfied my hunger, and I reluctantly put my finger on the elevator button to what I thought was going to be one of the worst days of my life.

---

I reluctantly walked out of the safe elevator and into the dressing room, or floor 7 if you prefer. Multiple woman and men ran around with makeup kits and outfits that swayed on their hangers. The energy they carried that seemed to seep into the environment around them just didn't seem to reach me as I worried over what Levi would think.

I slowly walked over to my door which for some reason had a different label on it than before. I looked at it sadly as I realized immediately who had changed it. I stared at the word and face, wishing and hoping that we could be the same way as we were.

JaegerBombtastic;)

The words glared at me, mocking how close we used to be. Humiliating my choice to show him who I really was.

"Do you like it?" An all too familiar voice whispered from right behind me. His warm breath reached my neck, caressing it with its warm fingers. I involuntarily shivered.

Why was he talking to me? Wasn't he scared?

"Yes" I whispered quietly and turned with hesitance. His shimmering grey eyes danced with something I couldn't comprehend.

"Good" He said, than he winked and walked away to where Armin was freaking out over a pair of jeans that had the singer Jean Kirshsteins face sewed into the back pockets.

I stood and stared.

Did he just fucking wink at me?

Damn that was hot.