In These Lyrics

BL- Before Levi

Erens POV

What the hell was I doing?

Out of impulse and the heat of the moment I slammed Levis small frame against the wall behind me and now hovered over him, my breath hitching on its way out of my lungs.

I felt an overwhelming desire to kiss him.

To hold him.

To love him.

So what else was I to do?

I leaned in and placed my lips on his in a soft attempt to pursue my feelings. I felt uncertainty run though my veins making me pause my hasty advance. I was about to pull away completely before he started moving his lips beneath mine. I felt him let out a soft huff of breath against my lower lip, spreading out in a warm embrace to my chin.

The kiss was elegant and smooth, very unlike most people's first kiss.

Even if I was a prostitute before this, I had never kissed any of my clients. A kiss was a sign of love and endearment, sex was sex, nothing more.

This was my first time, yet our lips worked together like clockwork. It was an indescribable feeling of satisfaction. I felt his tongue swipe across my lower lip for permission to enter my mouth.

The action alone made my heart race. My cold, dead, heart, filling with warmth for the first time since I changed.

And with that I felt the familiar dull ache of my teeth lengthening fill my mouth.

I felt the familiar heat behind my eyes, indicating that they were shifting from green to red. I pulled away. Looking down. Feeling ashamed.

"Eren?" I heard Levis currently rough voice say. I looked up, hoping that once he had seen my eyes he would understand why I had to.

"Oh, do you want to go than?" He said sadly, glancing at the ground as he said that. I blinked, a grin coming onto my face. I probably looked horrifying but I decided not to think about that.

I grabbed his hand quickly and with bright eyes said,

"You don't hate me!?" The smile on my face was absolutely unstoppable at the moment, I had not a care in the world except for the fact that he would still treat me like he normally did. Levi continued to frown at his shoes.

"Like I could ever hate you brat" He mumbled quietly keeping his face out of sight. Though his lowered head didn't stop my from seeing how red had sprung up on the tip of his ears. I opened and closed my mouth in a way that resembles a fish gasping for air out of water.

"Thanks" I managed to say through the crimson blooming on my cheeks.

"Tch, brat" Was all the response I got. I awkwardly looked down. This conversation wasn't going anywhere.

"I should probably go..." I said trailing off and walking towards the door. Though before I could reach the threshold a strong grip latched onto the hem of my long sleeved v-neck.

"Is it true?" I frowned, was what true?

"That your a- a vampire?" He said, stuttering for the first time, all of his stoic confidence thrown to the wind.

I looked down. This would be the first time that I would have formally said my condition to him. I took a deep breath and raised my gaze to where his steely blue eyes were waiting.

"Yes" I said simply, not backing away from his gaze. I wanted him to know I was serious. That this wasn't some kind of ploy or jest. That this wasn't something I casually laughed off, that this was something, someone he should be scared of and stay away from. I was dangerous. A ticking time bomb, the time of detonation unknown which made me all the more fearsome.

His gaze didn't waver once.

"Okay" He said, his voice cracked on one of the syllables.

He was so quick to disregard it, toss the notion away as if it were nothing. How could he do that?

Why would he do that?

"What do you mean?" I paused, walking a bit closer.

"This is not okay, I-I am not okay" I said gesturing to my red eyes and elongated teeth.

Levi's eyes ignited with anger.

"You know what Eren? Fuck you and your opinions of yourself. Can't you accept that I like you for who you are and a small detail like this will not stop me from-"

"It is not a small detail" I said lowly, he continued as if he hadn't heard me, going on about how I should welcome him, let him in, become a part of my life.

But he didn't know.

He didn't know how my best friend left me.

He didn't know how my dad left me in an empty house that I couldn't pay for.

He didn't know how when my mom died my life spun out of control.

He didn't know.

He didn't understand, and he probably never would.

"Stop" I said, calm, like the quickly passing eye of a storm, knowing that it could blow you over any second.

He paused, my seriousness shocking him into silence.

"You don't know anything about me, let alone how much I know about you" I knew next to nothing about him and he knew next to nothing about me, we were so far from compatible.

Me being the stupid and reckless person I was, let a brief surge of lust pull me into kissing my manager and making him think I actually felt something for him.

Even though in my heart I knew there was something different about him. Though it was probably just platonic friendship, I had after all had very little experience with that, an maybe that was why this conversation spiralled into a dark void within several silent seconds.

I looked away and walked out of the room.

My body was now numb, a dull and bland shell, drained of emotion. I had had too much inner turmoil and now all my inner energy was gone.

I wasn't angry or sad.

Or happy or lonely.

I was just the Eren I was before I met Erwin. Before I posted that video. Before I became famous.

Before Levi.

\/\/\/

QOTD: Smut or fluff?

AOTD: Eek, I dunno, fluff I guess? I dunno, they are both pretty fantastic...

Hope you enjoyed!