The first apology goes to you Mr. Hollywood,
The strangest pairing and yet the first failing.
I was so completely young and naïve
That I had no idea you had fallen.
You were fallen and trapped in the web that I weaved
And yet I would stop to chat
With the boy that was wrapped
In my entangling web of awkwardness.
When you confessed your adoration,
Tears of panic and confusion fell in waves.
I cried for the duration of your narration of loving feelings,
Thanking some god for where I was at,
For an online chat saved us both
From an embarrassing display
Of blubbering disarray and floundering emotions.
Naivety and a new, unexplainable fear
Led me to lie and lay it on thick,
Saying that I liked you back, My Dear.
That is the start of the loop keeping me trapped,
Never giving slack, and always losing track
Of where I’ve started and begun again.
Had I never happened to have this horrible moment,
Years of hate and self-loathing would have abated
With the created lies and inflated words of lackluster honey.
Two years too long I kept this up,
But no harm was done because only once
Did we leave the confines of the Web.
Through the ebb and flow and nonexistent emotions
Came the realization that things weren’t changing
And my thoughts were ranging to the future
And to the stings of upcoming changes.
I was too sheltered and too shaded,
Already on the path to becoming jaded.
I knew I wasn’t helping you
Unless I was singing the song of Illusions Long Faded.
So I took a step back, and another and another,
Saying goodbyes and imagining your eyes
Behind a rose colored computer screen,
Bewildered and surprised.
I still have your Shakespeare and your Watchmen
Crammed on a shelf between my favorite horror film
And a shitty two buck movie I bought out of impulse.
I apologize for the lies and promises of return,
But for a time I worked under the guise
That I would turn back to see if the repulse was still pulsing.
Though I trade cruelty for rhyme
Because during all of that time,
When I had betrayed you with myself,
You were never afraid to be
The Dark Knight in Shining Armor I wanted see.
So to you, I say I’m sorry.
Forgive me for my shortcomings
And for the web I trapped you in for two long years.
We’ve both grown and moved on,
But neither of us left unmarked
By the illusions long since faded.
YOU ARE READING
Storm Prophecies
PoesíaRain falls in crosshatch across the lamp lit sky, splattering the asphalt ground with splashes of reflected light. I look at the sketchbook in my hand and trace the penciled rain and smudged glow. It was shit. I let to book fly onto the muddy grass...
