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«chapter 32»

Chapter 32

•Niall•

I pushed away the plate of food Paul tried to shove my way. I could practically see the pounds adding up on it.

"Ate too much at lunch," I said quietly, exiting the room. Paul sighed loudly behind him. I didn't understand why he hasn't just kicked me out already. I was good for anything, and all I was really doing now was wasting food, money, and oxygen.

I made my way to the bathroom connected to my room. The face in the mirror didn't look anything like me. His face was too pale; his hair was too long. The boy's eyes didn't shine like mine did. My cheeks weren't that sunken in, were they?

I took this as some sort of proof. No one tried to force me to eat, they just sat back and watched me do it. No one paid any attention as the bracelets added up on my wrists. They didn't notice my once blue eyes had turned grey, nor did they notice that my skin that was a pale that looked pretty had turned ashy.

No one really cared, and I think I was walking proof of that.

I pulled the bracelets off my wrist, one by one. My once white, clean, perfect wrist was bloody, bruised, and covered with scars that will probably never fade.

I needed this.

My blade had become a life line. It kept me anchored, in control. It made me feel something more than numbness, which is what I felt almost all the time now.

I could go a little deeper than normal. I could cut the wrong way and this would all be over.

And I did just that.

I had no note written, no way to say goodbye. All I did was cut my already bloody wrists the wrong way and smile as my blood dripped to the floor. I smiled and spelled out one small message in my own blood:

I'M SORRY

•Harry•

Louis was recording for the night, so I decided why not rent some movies and spend the night at Niall's?

I didn't bother calling first, since we normally just show up at each other'a houses. Instead of Niall answering the door like he usually does, a very stressed Paul was before my eyes.

"Hey, Paul. Are you alright?" I ask him.

"Fine, lad. I'm fine. Niall's in his room." He left me standing on the doorstep, to go lie down I presume.

"Niall, it's Haz." I called into his room, knocking on the door. Normally, I would burst right in. But lately, things haven't been the same. "Niall?"

I opened the door quietly, in case he might have been sleeping. But he didn't lay on the bed, or even on the floor where he sometimes fell asleep.

I went and knocked on the bathroom door. "Ni, you in there?" I called out. No response there either. "I'm going in." I mumbled to myself. I pushed open the door, until I hit something.

That something was Niall.

•-•

Oooooooohhhh shit.

That escalated quickly.

Remember, Niall was a pretty messed up kid.

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(26/8/13)

NEWLY EDITED ON:

(7/03/14)