Mama's boy

Introduction.

When you're twenty and your child is four, you know something probably didn't go as planned.  When you know almost nothing about his father, something definitely didn't go as planned.

I'm not a complete failure. I'm in college, I study hard with good results, and I even make enough money to provide for my child and myself. My parents had my two younger siblings to take care of and I had no intention to rely on them for something I was responsible for.

It's not a happy story with the child's father, and no happy ending, but it's not even because he was irresponsible or careless. It's pointless to say that a kid wasn't in our plans.  We had just met each other when the school year started in September, but we got together around January, and before that we barely talked.  We used to stare and sometimes smile or wave at each other in the hallways, and we were nothing more than kids ourselves. In February I got pregnant, and it was a shock, but we sucked it up real quick. When the baby was born in November, we were the happiest teenagers on Earth.

We put everything else aside and planned a future together, and now we would probably be living it, if a car accident didn't take him away when the baby was a little more than one month old.

There was a big party and it was the first event since the baby's birth where we really planned on going out.  At the last moment, I decided I was too tired, but he was such a caring dad and boyfriend, never leaving my side during the entire pregnancy and the first weeks of our baby's life that I felt bad for asking him to stay home that night. Unfortunately that was the worst call we made, and our kid no longer has a father.

We're fine, however, and I managed to keep going without letting the accident define our lives.  As much as I loved him, I still wasn't in love with him in that special way.  It was supposed to be the kind of relationship that kids have in high school, and the reason we were still together was the baby and we both knew it.

I don't want to sound evil but even if he was the greatest guy, he wasn't the love of my life, and as sorry as I can be, I still decided that pretending that nothing happened was the best option for everybody.

Somebody could ask me how I do it, being a mom and a student while making a living.  That's part of why I made sure nobody knows about my life including my son. It's been a while now and he has become my little secret.

At first it was tough, but the positive side of having no friends or people around is that nobody cares what you do or where you go, and nobody asked me what I was doing or how.  That's how I got involved in things I'm not proud to talk about.

When I couldn't afford basic necessities for my own son I had to accept offers that were too good to be refused.  I never thought a kid that small could need that much money just to survive.

I don't sell drugs, but I'm helping someone who does, in a way.  As a girl, people don't usually suspect me, but at the same time I can be intimidating enough to let the others know to not mess with me.

I never justify the time that I spend with my son, and that made me mysterious. That's part of the reason nobody wants to mess with me, either in business and in college. I don't care what people may think, because the further they stay from me the better.

Sometimes boys try to get close to me, but they're only interested in my body and my pretty face.  Nobody wants anything serious from me and I can't blame them, but I have other priorities and honestly no interest in boys or relationships in general.

My son just turned four, and he is the most beautiful child I've ever seen.  People who see him with me think he's my little brother, and I gladly let them believe that.  He actually looks a lot like me in his appearance.  We have the same thick dark hair and remarkable emerald eyes, both of which are noteworthy.

Fortunately he got his father's great temperament, which makes him a very happy and kind kid.

He could spend all day bouncing and dancing around the little apartment I rent for us and I rarely hear him complain about anything.  If I didn't know he was mine, I would doubt I was able to bring such a bundle of joy into the world.

A/N: I don't usually write in English so a big thank you goes to FangsForTheMemories who reviewed it.

I hope you liked the idea behind the story.. and I don't know what to write here anymore so tell me your opinion, be kind to one another and enjoy life, byee.