The Secrets to New York

Twelve | Rainy Streets

It was raining when the accident happened. None of us were expecting it and it just about killed you when you heard the news. The way you held onto my hand at the funeral  broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. You were holding on for dear life, as if when you let go, you’d lose me too.

I just let you cry on my shoulder as much as you needed too.

I had never had real parents, but I couldn’t imagine how hard it was to lose one of them. I mean, it was hard enough for me to lose your dad, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how you were feeling.

The New York rain has never made me feel the same since that day; just add that to the list of things that make me feel hopeless. I can’t help but wonder how you feel on the days when the rain pours, and the streets get wet. I hope you don’t sit there and cry like I do.

I know that if you knew that is what I do you would shake your head and tell me that I need to look on the bright side of things--there was always a silver lining for you. I knew that you would tell me to pray, because praying always made you feel better. It makes me feel better too, if I’m being honest, I just forget sometimes because the pain feels like it’s too much. That’s probably when I need to pray the most though.

That day is still one of the hardest days of my life; only second to the day I lost you.