I've made my decision. Right now, I can't honestly love myself. I feel wrong in all sorts of ways. I hate myself for MANY reasons, but the main one is because right now, I'm about to do something that I only want to do with Joss. This man offered me $200 and I gave in. He's driving me to a hotel and I feel sleezy and horrible inside.
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Ugh, I'm so tired. What a wild dream I had. Ha. Like I'd ever be a striper. I opened my eyes and fear stung my heart. I was laying in bed, beside a stranger who was drinking a bottle of beer. He smiled when he saw my face. "You did great sweet thang. Keep up the good work and I reckon you'll be rich within a few weeks.Ha.Well, I gots to go. I gotta go out and feed my chickens." The man with a strangely odd country accent got up and dressed. I panicked even more when I realized I was naked. What the hell is wrong with me?! "Oh, and here. Catch. The extra $100 is for being so damn cute." He said with a wink before closing the door to the hotel. I looked down at the rolled up wad of cash beside me. I counted, $300. That leaves me with $5,200 more to go. I have to admit, I got money WAY faster than I would have anywhere else. Should I really consider this job? I mean, at this rate I'd have enough in a month or two right? Yeah Rein. You can do this. It's for Joss right? Crap! I need to call mom! I grabbed my cell phone from my purse and dialed my house number. *Ring* *Ring* *Ring* "Hello? Rein?" "Hi mom, I'm sorry I didn't call. I got so caught up with Marissa last night and I fell asleep on her couch. I got the job though so we were celbrating." I'm a pretty good liar since my mom believed me. "Oh, thank god sweetie. I was worried all night! Well, when are you getting home?" I paused and though this over. "I'll be home in a few hours, I have a shift at work." My mom believed me so much that I was questioning whether it was right to lie to her or not in this situation. Oh well. "Okay baby. See you soon then." I hung up the phone and was suddenly grateful that today is saturday. I texted Marissa telling her to cover for me if my mom brought up anything about a sleep over. She didn't question me why so I decided not to tell her about my new job. Now, the question was, what do I do next? Go back to work or visit Joss like I normally did on weekends? I made up my mind, I got dressed in the clothes Candy gave me, I had no choice, she had taken my other clothes. I brushed my hair and put my phone away. I checked out of the hotel room and got into my magically fixed car. There was a note on it. "Next time don't follow me to work. You're lucky I fixed your car. - D.O" Who's D.O? Hmm... and why would he fix my car? Oh well. Don't make a big fuss of it right now. I started the car and drove to visit Joss. Once I got there all the officers were drooling over my outfit. Was it that slutty? I went through the routine I always did here and I sat with Joss who never fully made eye contact with me. He kept looking at my chest. "Joss?" He looked up and snapped out of it. "Oh, I'm sorry. Why are you wearing that?" I looked down at myself and back up. I need a excuse! "Um... I wanted today's visit to be special!" I shouted out in the spurr of the moment. "Oh... okay. Why? Its not my birthday of anything." Damn it Joss! Why do you always ask so many damn questions! "Um, I know but, you've been in here without any real amusement so ... I uh .. thought this would be a nice ... gift I suppose." I reached out for his hand and he held onto my hand but I could tell he felt weird. "Rein, are you okay? You never act like this." I faked a smile which felt cheezy. "I'm fine, I just miss you, alot." Joss smiled and his grip on my hand warmed me up inside and took away all sad feelings from before. "I miss you too, and I love you like hell." He gave me a tender kiss and I almost didn't want to pull back but what more could we do in a prison? We talked about some issues he has with guys in Jail and we talked about our relationship. Then I left.
