Austin held onto my hand as we walked into my mom's hospital room. "Mom?" I asked quitely. Her eyes darted to me and I could already see how sick she was, her face was so pale and she had a few wrinkles on her face showing how stressed her body is. "Hey sweetie, did they say when I could go home?" I hadn't realized how hard this was going to be. I broke out into tears at the thought of losing my mom, Austin cuddled me tightly. "Sweetie! What's wrong?!" Austin released me and pushed me over to my mom. I hugged her so hard, wishing I could take the cancer out of her and put it in my instead. "I love you mom." My mom smiled. "I love you too. Ow, ugh. My chest hurts again." I hugged her again. "So, who's your male friend here?" Austin walked over and wiped away my tears. "He's ... my bestfriend." I smiled at him and he smiled back. "Oh, how, ow. How lovely. How is Joss? Oww, oh my. Sorry, my chest aches badly. Must be the meds they're giving me." I looked at the floor trying not to have to say anything about her pains to her. "Joss is good, I visit him often." My mom clutched at her chest and made a face in pain but I could tell she was trying to ignore the pain. "Honey, tell me the truth. What did the doctors tell you about my aches?" I froze and tears threatened to pour out like a river but I refused to let them fall until after I told her. I tried my hardest to put this calmly. "Mom, I'm sorry." My voice cracked and a few tears leaked. "You, you.... you have ... lung cancer. You don't have ... long to ..." I fell on my knees and cried. "Live...mom, I love you!!!" I kept crying and my mom's face stayed blank. No sign of emotion. She grabbed me tightly by my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Rein, there's something I haven't told you. I've ... I've known I was going to have cancer. I had it before but you never really noticed because it wasn't that bad. I always made up excuses as to why I lost some hair and to where I was going so often. I was going to therapy. The doctors told me it would come back and I knew this was coming. Honey please, help me kill myself." Without thinking I slapped my mom across the face and my whimpers became deeper and I began hypervenalating. I started shouting out of anger and pain at her. "You knew and you never told me?! What's wrong with you?! Why do you want to kill yourself?! I'm not helping you!!! I won't do it!!!! You're insane!!!" I kept taking in deep breaths as if there was going to be a sortage on oxygen and I needed to store up some. "Honey, I rather die now, I don't want to live through this, not again. I can't, before I was younger and stronger, now I'm getting older and I can't take much more of this. Not again. I just really can't."
------------------------- (2 months later)
"Rein, are you ready?" shouted Austin from our bathroom. "Yeah, I just need help putting on my damn neckalace!" I yelled from the guest room. Wait, I bet you're confused. Let me explain everything. My mom ... she talked me into ... well... I put her out of her misery. I tampered with her meds and I gave her a over dose of pain killers like she told me to. After that I had no where to live so I moved in with Austin for a little while, just until my old house gets fixed up. Right now Austin and I are going to visit my mom's grave. It's been about two months since she told me her story and today is the 2 month mark of her death. I still work but I take longer to earn money because most of my money goes to pay for my food and clothes. I do have a savings amount for Joss' bail but it will take a while. Austin and I haven't kissed or even flirted much since the death. He knows what a hard time I'm going through. I cried for weeks straight and missed days of school sometimes because he told me I looked too sad to go. He's taking care of me and he often tries his hardest to heal my wounds but he'll never be able to erase my scars that ache me every night and day. "I'll help you hold on." He annouced loudly while running over to the room. His tie was all screwed up. "Austin, your tie is all ... haha," I smiled and I reached for his tie. "Its all wacky looking. Let me fix it." I unknotted it and re-tied it. I tightened it a bit and instantly our eyes met. His muscles looked tight in the button up shirt he was wearing. I wonder how strong he is, or what lies under his shirt. The next thing I noticed was that his body was awfully close to mine. I could imagine a beautifully romantic scene happening but then I saw a drip of sweat glisten on his forehead and he backed away and shyly said "Thanks..." He recently has had a hair cut so his hair is standing up in a flip. He looks somewhat like that guuy Taylor Laughtner or whatever his name is. I lifted my hair up for Austin to put on my neckalace that I had just forced into his shaking hands. I heard the neckalace hit the floor right as I felt a pair of incredibly soft lips kiss my neck. My skin tingled and I closed my eyes letting out a gasp at the intensity of the kiss. I felt Austin wrap his hands around my waist, he kissed his way over to my ear leaving a trail of warm kisses behind. I let out a soft moan. He whispered into my ear "I've been wanting to do this for a while." He kissed my ear lobe and he spun me slowly until his face faced mine. My fingers mindlessly unbuttoned his shirt and un-knotted his tie. His fingers followed the dance by pulling the straps of of my dress. He kissed me ever so tenderly. I moaned again, it wasn't because of anything weird, I just felt so much better. I stopped him though, I spread out my words between his kisses while I was trying to gather air. "Please.... stop... my ... mom... we... oh my god... need ... to ... go..." I kept gasping for air and I felt so warm inside. He didn't stop at first because I could tell he didn't want to, and being honest I didn't want him to stop either, but he stopped like a proper gentle man would. I smiled at him while blushing. "We can finish this another time okay?" I asked to break the silence between us. He smiled back and responded with "Yeah. I hope we do." With a final long kiss we parted and we got re-dressed. We visited my mom's grave where I cried my eyes out and Austin kept me from falling to the floor. After that, we visited Joss and as always I had to pretend I still had amazing feelings for him, which I do, they've just been reduced a little because of Austin. Right after that Austin and I went to work. I had a busy day and I earned enough to buy some groceries with Austin. He earned enough to cook dinner for tonight. After work we bought groceries and he cooked dinner. All in all, today we barely spent real time together.
