Life has gone on since the whole Red thing. I was lucky enough that Austin didn't remember the night he got drunk. He never brought up the argument and to be honest, I was glad he didn't remember. I love him too much to be mad. Everytime I went to work though,Red would be there. There is a new routine at work now, go to work, earn money, get out, get raped by Red in his car wishing he'd stop, then go to work at the dinner. I have gotten used to the whole rape thing. I'm secretly getting stronger. I work out now. He won't notice, he'll never notice until I use it against him. Right after my night shifts at the dinner, I head to the gym and exercise, my motivation being my anger towards Red. Austin will never find out, he'll never know. He'll never know many things. He'll never know how much I love him. He'll never know I'm over Joss. He'll never know I have fantisies about him. He'll never know that I've seen him kiss other girls when he gets drunk at times. He'll never know that I know he gets drunk sometimes. He'll never know how it hurts to watch him do things with other girl un-knowingly. He'll never know how it feels to wake up being depressed over the one you love because they cheated but have to much of a hang over to remember they cheated. He'll never know that I'm scared of him sometimes. Most of all he'll never know I've been raped without protection. Yeah, no protection. Red being the gentleman he is doesn't like condoms because appearantly they "make sex un-fun." Great, that's just fucking great. Oh well, I have been feeling sick lately but what's the chance of me being pregnate. Haha, yeah right. I take birth control and stuff, its like impossible for me to get pregnate. For now I'll just have to manage with this life of mine.
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(Austin's P.O.V [Point of View])
Haha, Rein thinks she's so smart. Too made she'll never know, I know almost as much as her. When I get drunk I don't forget what happens. I'm too smart. Yeah, I'll admit I forgot what happened that first night, all I remember is we had a fight or something. But I do remember kissing other girls, I do remember hooking up with them. She'll never know though, I'll pretend that even I don't know. But secretly we both saw this coming, she doesn't provide me with what I need. I love her so much but until she's ready, I'll do what I have to do. Boys will be boys right? Well this boy is ready to be a man and I'm not going to let cinderella hold me back. What's weird is, I've noticed Rein is getting stronger. She'll never know that I noticed but it scares me. When does she have time to work out? Why does she work out? Why won't she tell me why? What is she trying to hide from me? I love her too much, she can't lie to me. Why doesn't she know she's hurting me? Oh, *sigh* She'll never know how much I love her. She'll never know how it hurts to not be trusted by your love. She'll never know that I miss her when she goes to work at the dinner. Oh, another thing I've noticed. She claims to be going to work at the dinner when she leaves the bar but I called up the dinner one day to ask her something but they said she wasn't working. They told me her time shifts and it doesn't add up. She comes home late, I'm guessing it's to go to the gym but she leaves early. What could she possibly be doing that she can't tell me? Is she with Marissa? Is she with Joss or Juan? What can't she tell me?! She'll never know how I care. *Sigh*
