Grow With Me (BWWM)

Chapter 22-New Beginings

"Why do you always look at me like that?" I asked Austin.

We were sitting in Emily's hospital room and I was sitting on her bed with her hand in mine. Austin just smiled sadly his green eyes barely showing emotion. Emily being unconscious highly effect the pack from Ross to one of the gardeners who talked to Emily whenever she came over. A lot more people knew her then I thought.

"You're doing it again." I said getting up and sitting next to him.

He sighed raking his hands through his disheveled hair. Over the past week he has grown a stubble. It made him look a little older and if it wasn't for his unhappy aura I would consider it sexy. His green eyes were deadly pale and Convel was nowhere to be found. I flattened a stray piece of his hair when he suddenly grabbed my wrist violently. He turned to me and noticed the hint of fear in my eyes.

"Sorry." He whispered letting go of my wrist.

"Talk to me." I turned his head to me.

He leaned his head into my hand which carried his cheeks. He opened his mouth a couple times but wouldn't let any words out. He pushed his pale and dry pink lips into a thin line. He honestly looked sick and being so worried about Emily I never took the time to look and see. I leaned in leaving barely an inch between us.I waited for him to come towards me like he normally did but he just sat there exhausted. I pulled back letting my hand slip away from under his face. He sat up and starred intently into my eyes.

"You're so beautiful," he started saying trailing his finger across my chin "-in the way your eyes sparkle when you smile, in the way you want to please everyone, in the way you stay innocent through everything keeping true to yourself. I want to be the reason your eyes sparkle, I want to please you and be pleased by you but with me your innocence will slowly disappear and you won't be true to your-"

"Are you rejecting me?" I said quietly feeling so small and vulnerable.

"No I would never do that but-" he sighed moving a stray hair " maybe you should go back to your life before me and when the time comes I'll find you." He said smiling sadly.

"So what I'm supposed to pretend my friend isn't in a comma and that I don't know werewolves exist. I'm supposed to pretend I'm not a strange breed of werewolf that I didn't know existed. I'm supposed to pretend that you the guy I fell in love with in a span of a few months doesn't exist but when you decide it's okay then it will." I shut my eyes quickly feeling tears well up.

Don't you dare cry you idiot. What was this even all about? Why would he do this? What did I do? Why wait when I'm older why not now? The more I asked questions the more I realized we had no idea what we were doing. Just two weeks ago I had a fight with him then tried to sleep with him the next day. I didn't understand this werewolf thing or what was even our relationship. Kisses, hugs, a couple dates. There was nothing there, no substance, no building up to the falling in love just an instant push.

"Okay." I said stopping him before he opened his mouth. Confusion washed over him quickly. "Okay?" he asked as if he was checking to see if he heard right. "Okay." I said standing up.

I could hear a whimper in the back of my head. I whipped my face to make sure no tears had escaped. I took a deep breath and dusted off invisible dirt off my jeans. I walked up to Emily's resting body and softly kissed her hand. "I'll see you later." I placed her hand back by her side. I looked up to see Austin watching my every movement. I walked over to a chair by the door containing my bag. I swiftly picked it up and opened the door. I felt him grab my hips, turn me around and press me against the now closed door. See exactly what I mean, it was his idea but as soon as I open the door he wants me to stay.

"I don't want you to stay." he said as if he was reading my mind.

"And you were such the romantic." I said sarcastically.

"No I mean, I still should go through with the plan but just one more." he said looking helpless.

It broke my heart to see this. Was this a peek of what will happen if I leave or is it a peak of what will happen if i stay. His power and confidence shattered and it was so how in some way my fault. Austin moved his hands from my waist to my face. He slowly pulled me in before pressing his lips against mine. The kiss wasn't rushed, it wasn't perfect, it wasn't sexy. It was slow and helpless and needy. It wasn't just him it was me too.

I tugged at his neck pulling him as close as possible. I never wanted to pull away, I could kiss him forever. I also needed to pull away because if I didn't no one would. I pulled him away while pushing my own body back into the door.

"Why do you always do that, even before you basically told me to leave your life?" I asked breathing hard. He was giving me that look. The look he gave me after I made fun of him or when I was laughing at a joke.

"I do it because I'm proud to have you as a mate, a friend, and a partner. A kind of 'that's my girl' moment." he said his eyes lighting up only slightly.

"There is nothing to be proud of now."

"This is the last time I can have this look, whether it fits the occasion or not, and I'll be damned if I can't look at you like this one last time." He said holding my face. He leaned in and kissed my forehead. I pulled his chest towards me taking in his scent, that woods-y scent that made my hairs stand up. He stepped back giving me room to open the door.

I left with out knowing when I would see Austin again or if I would see him again. I wasn't a big crier so I walked out with not a single tear. I got in my car and drove. I didn't know where I was going or when I was going to stop but I knew I just had to drive for awhile.