Grow With Me (BWWM)

Chapter 29- Selfishness and Comfort

"So your telling me Austin decided not to talk to me until he thought I was taken?" I asked for clarification.

"Heh. Guess I shouldn't have said anything." Ross mumbled before getting the drink behind him and drinking a huge gulp.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I was basically a walking zombie and he knew that but when he saw me and Shaun HE GOT JEALOUS.  I wanted to choke him and punch him and kick him where the sun don't shine. I was going to give him a piece of my mind.

"That son of a bitch!" I exclaimed as Ross's grip on my shoulders tightened.

"Just make sure you don't kill him." Ross whispered as Austin walked into the kitchen with nothing but pajama pants on.

"You son of a bitch!" I yelled even louder making my way towards his tall stature.

"I gotta a wife and kid to check on." Ross quickly said exiting the kitchen.

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Austin P.O.V.

Zoe stood there as red as someone could possibly be. I could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears and nose. There was an eerie silence like when in a horror movie the killer is standing tall behind the victim with a huge knife before they killed. Yeah except the killer was a 5'7 black girl and the knife was those big brown eyes filled with anger. Oh God what did I do now?

"Why did you decide to visit me?" She asked her arms crossed and her hands in fist.

"Because I missed you." I asked dumbfounded.

You see at the time I didn't realize she knew about my jealously filled reason for seeing her. I also didn't realize that telling Zoe the partial truth got my face partially slapped. So when she stepped towards me I thought I was going in for a kiss but was met with a hand instead. I've been slapped three times today. Did I deserve it?

Yea.

Did it hurt?

A lot. Especially from that blonde girl.

"You liar." she said venom reeking in her voice.

"You visited me multiple times and thought 'wow Zoe's miserable guess I won't help her.' Not only that but when you do talk to me it's when you thought I moved on. Seriously? Oh yeah and you lied to my face. So this is what we do now.  YOU lied to ME. YOU saw ME moping around with no one. YOU decided that I shouldn't move on from you. YOU with your green eyes and 10 body asked ME a young girl to leave." She paused a tear streaming down her face. "YOU..." She looked down for a moment. " I LOVE YOU BUT YOU MAKE IT SO GOD DAMN HARD!!" She yelled sadness anger and pain all mixed up.

It hit me then and I wished it hit me earlier , I really wished it hit me earlier that all the pain I tried to save her from, I was the cause of. If I just chose not to open my stupid mouth the night of the hospital she wouldn't be mad at me or as mad as she is now. She would be sad from my dumb decisions. Most importantly she wouldn't be hurt. Her big brown eyes wouldn't be filled with tears and her fist wouldn't be squeezed so hard blood might be coming out.

"I shouldn't have come, it was selfish-" I started but she held her hand up.

"Wow. That's what you got out of me yelling at you? You regret coming to see me." If it wasn't for my enhanced hearing I wouldn't be able to hear her. She was looking up at me slowly backing away. She shook her head as if she was getting rid of the angle and the demon on her shoulder. "Ross is taking me home. I have no reason to be here if you have no reason for me to be here."

"I love you." I reached out for her cheek but was rejected.

"That's never been enough for you so why would it be enough for me." She walked out the way Ross left. Once she headed that way she didn't give me a second look.

Something I realize now is that I was and still kind of am an idiot. I thought that no matter what every decision I made was for the best for her. I know now it was for me. I didn't go see Zoe because I thought she would be mad at me, I saw her because I didn't want her in someone else's arms, I lied because I didn't want to get in trouble and I asked her to leave because I was so scared that somehow she would hurt me. All selfish reasons and all dumb reasons. They seem extra dumb when the love of your life hates you because of it.

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Zoe P.O.V.

I was sitting in Ross' Buick on my way home. Once I told him I wanted to leave a look of disappointment was very clear on Ross' face but he got his keys and we headed out side. My place was maybe 30 minutes away so we had some time but it was all quiet. Ross hadn't said a word and I'm glad he didn't. I just needed to think. 

Earlier was my first time crying over Austin. Before I never shed a tear once but I think him lying is what broke the camels back. I let out a sob and immediately felt eyes on me. The car pulled over and I looked over at Ross.

"I'm sorry pup." He said smiling sadly.

"It's okay." I humorlessly chuckled suddenly finding interest in the hem of my shirt.

The seamstress did a great job. 

"Zoe."

 Wow to bad she can't sew back up my life.

"Zoe." he held my chin and pulled me so I was looking up and facing him.

"It's not okay and that's fine but don't you dare lie to your Alpha." he joked.

Of course no one laughed but I appreciated the joke. Showing my appreciation, I smiled. He opened his arms so I could lay into his chest. I did just that. He rubbed my shoulder in comfort and kissed my forehead. I let it completely out. The tears I held for 4 years. The tears I refused to release.

"I want you to know that It's not okay now but It will be. I promise you that everything will be okay." Ross said his face in my hair still holding me.