Don't Let Me Go

Constant

The bell rung soon after Scott left. I mechanically made my way back to study hall to get the stuff I had left there. I had skipped sixth period which I know I would hear about from my dad but I didn't care. I waited five minutes so I wouldn't bump into anyone and I sighed in relief when I wasn't stopped by a pitying glance or cruel remark.

All I could think about was the look in Scott's eyes. He hasn't forgiven himself. I could tell he's gotten better, loads better. It still haunts him though. I know I shouldn't be one to give advice but I worry about Scott. If it wasn't for me he'd be worrying about getting a date to homecoming and hanging out with Stiles all the time. Instead he's scarred because of me.

I step into the parking lot and remember that Scott had picked me up today. Shit... It wasn't like Scott to forget something like that. I guess I could call my dad... I groaned as I unlocked my phone not looking forward to explaining everything to my dad.

Just as I was about to press on his name a very familiar jeep pulls up in front of me.

"Scott texted me saying you'd need a ride... So I turned around. Sorry I'm late."

I nod not being able to muster any words. The car ride home Stiles tried to make conversation but he knew. He was there when everyone found out. It was awkward and both of us didn't know what to say.

He turned on the radio which helped the silence not be so bad. After a few minutes Fix You came on and the picture of Scott singing it came to mind.

"Turn it off!" I yelled at Stiles. I couldn't listen to that song not now. Scott has promised to fix me but so far nothing has changed. We were still barely surviving and hanging on a thread.

He quickly swatted at the radio until Coldplay shut up and I sighed in relief.

"Allie..." Stiles whispered.

My eyes widened at the sound of the nickname my dad used to call me when I was little.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I would do if everyone found out. I just.. I want you... I'm here okay? If you need me.. Just call or text or anything and I'm there." Stiles stuttered as he pulled into my driveway.

He reached for my hand and drew circles on my palm with his thumbs. I looked into his eyes and I could see the pain in his eyes. I could tell he was thinking about all the nights he was forced into things he didn't want to do.

I squeezed his hand and felt a tear come out of my eye.

"No don't cry..." He whispered and brushed away the tear with his free hand.

"I'm just tired Stiles... I want one sure thing in my life... I'm a mess, Scott's a mess... I have nothing to count on now with Lydia always being I'm therapy and refusing to talk about why she's there and I have no one else to talk to because Scott hates talking about it and I know he only does it because it helps me and then the other day with the files my body goes into this shock after reading that sick story and I just.. I want one thing in my life that doesn't make me want to jump off the nearest cliff! I want-"

I'm interrupted by Stiles lips crashing against mine and I freeze shocked at the sudden touch. I don't move as Stiles pulls away looking at my shocked expression.

"I-I don't.. I mean... I shouldn't have... I'm sorry it's just that you were freaking out.. I-I wasn't thinking." Stiles stuttered.

"It's okay." I whisper finding my voice. It actually was okay. I shouldn't be but I was.

"I want to be that constant in your life Allie... I shouldn't have kissed you... after what you've been through...But I still want to be the one there for you when no one else is."

I put my hands on his cheeks and pull his lips towards mine. This time I caught him by surprise but it doesn't take him long to respond. The kiss was electric. Our tongues met and that only made Stiles softly moan. The kiss felt... right. It didn't feel wrong and for a long time I hadn't felt like there was anything I was doing right. Stiles felt right.

When I kissed Scott it was always interrupted by one of us crying or screaming at other. Whenever we were around each other all we talked or thought about was that night. Stiles made me feel like myself again. He wasn't there that night. Maybe I could get better with Stiles.

But what about Scott?